petit bones

she had a brand

2012-02-11T01:32:00.016-05:00

it hit me the other day that elderberry was branded. on her right thigh. i couldn't picture what the brand looked like. memories fade so quickly.

i went looking through photos, to remember.

from welcome to my world, 4-17-10. blogs are helpful things.

from an elder cloth, posted 7-9-11. you can see it a little better in this pic. her hair was shorter, it was summer and she had shed.

can you see it there? ♀
like a sideways stick figure. a hangman without the legs.
or perhaps a sideways symbol for female, or venus.
(although there would have been no need to brand her female, that was easy enough to see.)

i wish i could look at it again, trace it with my fingers. but she didn't like being touched.

i can't imagine what this symbol must have meant meant to those who marked her. i don't want to know or imagine what that was like. but it will, it must be part of my cloth.

i love spinning thin

2012-02-06T22:39:00.007-05:00

i really, really do.
this is bfl beautifully dyed by laila.
spun cobweb thin on my vintage french spindle.
these pics are before the yarn was set.
isn't it amazing when singles retain the wool's crimp?

it's on my list of goals for the year to spin and knit an orenberg shawl.
i've been getting ready for this for a while..

i have the russian goat-down (still unwashed)..
the silk to ply it with (it's thread-plied, ultra-thin)..
a variety of spindles, although not the russian one i'm coveting...
and the pattern.

better start soon..

family photos i've never seen

2012-02-04T18:19:00.006-05:00

except for this first one of me and my parents, xmas 1969. i was one.

the others, my brother just scanned and emailed me today. so odd and melancholy that there were these dear ghosties out floating, stuck somewhere in mum's stash. glad to have them more solidly here now.

2012-02-03T18:03:00.005-05:00

i love how mum strung her rose bead necklace. here are more drying..

and then there's the baby.

use vs beauty, or, the limits of what remains

2012-01-25T16:17:00.005-05:00

excavation, part 2: removing the top pieced layer from the backing and pulling away the batting...

i've only done this corner so far, to see, and here's what's left of the pieced top...

it's so beautiful, but so very delicate.
i'm not sure that re-backing it will enhance it or make it last.
and what are these fabrics, anyway?
they look and feel gauzy, organza-ish.
no wonder she whose stitches i've removed encased it inside the other quilt.
what to do, what to do..

excavation part 1

2012-01-21T18:23:00.006-05:00

i've been stumped all this time about what to do with my elder cloth. i didn't want to rush it, and figured the answer would come in time. i bought some scrim to stabilize the open areas, but then realized it still wouldn't work with doggy paws. then recently i saw the discussions on bee creative where deb was having a similar issue, and cindy suggested weaving into the cloth, which worked great. then cindy suggested needle weaving, which would be so time-consuming, but brilliant.

still, i couldn't get going with it. the size of my starter cloth was intimidating. i did some stitching, trying to tack things down, but it didn't feel good, and i couldn't visualize it. so i did what i should have done ages ago and put the cloth on the wall.

looking at the whole of it, with the huge seam down the middle, it looks to have been joined not for any design purpose, but just to keep the cloth together and to act as batting in the smaller quilt.

looking at that seam, i just couldn't resist...

and i see that this inner quilt is separately quilted and backed, and only lightly tacked to the current back.

so i am now bent on deconstruction. after i fully remove this backing (and use it somewhere else in this cloth), i think i'm also going to take the entire ragged pieced top layer off and re-back it without the batting (like cindy suggested early on!) and maybe rework some of the pieces with weaving of some kind. we'll see..

VM: the last frontier

2012-01-20T15:33:00.008-05:00

i spun this pretty mohair yarn for a sweet friend who is a doll artist. she has bought a few skeins from me to use for the crowning glory (hair) for her amazing creations.

since i knew this wouldn't be used for knitting or a next-to-skin project, i indulged myself a bit and didn't bother so much with what spinners call "VM" or "vegetable matter." this is the little bits of grass and hay that you find in most raw fleeces, even after they have been thoroughly scoured. this is because these little bits cling to the wool, and have to be picked out if you are preparing a fleece by hand - which takes for*ever*. (at the mills, they use chemicals to dissolve the vm). i much prefer to process my own just the way i want, and avoid icky chemicals, and so i usually do my best to pick out all the bits before and after washing, and then the remaining bits fall out while i'm spinning. but this is one reason i've been reluctant to offer batts in my etsy shop - i can't get the wool as vm-free as a fiber mill.

but sometimes i think, what exactly is the Big Deal with VM? especially when i'm also drying flowers, dyeing with leaves and making beads out of rose petals? why does the addition a different sort of natural material mean that wool is considered a lesser-grade?

while i don't want bits of bark poking me from inside a sweater, i really don't mind a little bit of grass left over from where the bunny was eating, or a tiny bit of twig from where the sheep was cavorting. especially in art yarn. if yarn isn't going to be next to a baby's head or your love's neck, is VM really a problem? knitters, what am i missing?

this is laika

2012-01-17T22:31:00.003-05:00

sorry for the bloggy silence, we've been a bit sleep-deprived..
we're here though, chewing, piddling and napping when we can.
and a few stitches and turns of the wheel.
these puppy days are so precious.

blackish rose

2012-01-08T15:33:00.007-05:00

i have been enjoying frankenstitching, and the beginnings and prospect of 250-some episodes of murder, she wrote on netflix, but recording the bead process is taking bloggy precedence.

we've had to modify the original recipe, which called for grinding and drying the petals for two weeks. the consistency was supposed to be a paste, but instead it was a fine powder. maybe caused by something fishy that they do to commercially-grown roses so we switched to another recipe that calls for simmering the ground petals for an hour. they plumped right up and after a few days of this, mum has deemed them the right consistency for rolling.

this is the rose water strained off after simmering. the aroma is heady, dazzling! and the wolf moon was full last night, too.

i loved the line at the bottom of this blog entry by ms uncertainty principles, where i found myself thanks to jude, "NOSTALGIA IS INTOXICATION."

gather ye

2012-01-03T15:35:00.003-05:00

mum and i are fascinated with old-time recipes for making rose beads. this is our first, experimental batch. the rose petals are to be ground every day and left to sit in cast iron for two weeks. then they should be a paste to roll into beads. roses seem to be in my future, since while thrifting we also found a book on antique roses of the south, rose-gardening gloves and pruning shears. i planted one bush last year and will add one or two more every year until i am old and surrounded.

the flue has delayed my homegoing and new year to-dos.. although i did stich a bone yesterday. trying to just relax and enjoy blogland, sleep, and dreams of rose bushes, hips and beads.

new year's dye

2012-01-02T23:39:00.004-05:00

inspired by jude's experiments, we tried lots of do-dads to see what would dye, with just a bit of tea. only the skate key made dark marks. the elephant left a light golden silhouette.

mara xmas to mee

2011-12-28T01:31:00.008-05:00

i love this pic of mum modeling the shawl i finished on christmas (it wasn't really taken in '81, that's a hipstamatic thing). it's a simple design, madeline tosh's mara, but i made mine huge and it's such a nice weight. i've not been a shawl person, but this is such an easy shawl to wear. it's been a good, soulful season, it really has.

i feel much more clear about things, in part because hub and i started juicing and having some greens and nutrition means that my health has improved. and i'm deciding, here as i write: my gift to myself is to leave school behind. i got a lot out of it back when i was doing course work, but i mustn't keep torturing myself with it. it doesn't fit my life any more. it's a kind gesture to let myself off the hook with this. it's time for life without hooks. and if it's a safety net i've been hanging onto, it's a very false and temporary one. i've gone back and forth with this so many times, but putting it here makes it real. no more whining about it or endless what-iffing. i want to put my energy into moving forward, being brave and having faith. thank you all for listening to me through all this and supporting.

i was making a list of all the things i want to do in 2012, the things that make me want to live, that fill me up. they involve a lot of making and growing of things. tinctures, and stitches, and friendships.

bye-bye, academe. nice knowing you.

santa-mum

2011-12-25T20:56:00.005-05:00

such wonderful gifties! wishing you many treasures and nourishment and merriment today. xxooo

just a little light

2011-12-22T03:12:00.002-05:00

happy solstice, all.

musing forward

2011-12-19T17:23:00.009-05:00

thinking a lot lately about continuing, and with things that aren't always so easy to keep going. like the hotel as studio space (although i did get that grant to help pay for it!), and then school. the last two proposals i turned in didn't make my advisors happy. and so i thought i would probably quit, or even apply to the fiber arts program at NC state, but i haven't been able to make that decision yet.

now i've got another, related project proposal brewing in my head. it has to do with things that have been right under my nose all this time.. studying the connection between fiber and animals. what kind of relationships are there between farmers and animals, and fiber workers and the animals that produced their fiber? if i stay on-track with documenting these relationships, it should be ok with my anthropologist advisor.

i love my etsy business. i absolutely adore working it in all its aspects. the people i've met are incredible, and in many ways it suits me so well that i think, just forget academia already, who needs it? it's been such a great year in this way, and my business has shown real potential!

the only thing is that it's hard being focused on production. i knew this and have heard it many times, but i had not experienced it myself before this season. i don't want to get caught up in working faster, producing more more more. although i love that there's been a demand, i'm not a fast crafter. sometimes the pace is fun and energizing, but ... if i have a choice, i'd rather be able to focus more on what i'm doing .. than on doing more.

looking forward at goals and plans... in order to make my etsy business a living, i would need to grow it quite a bit. perhaps that will happen anyway in ways that feel good. i have some ideas for how that could work. but i still wonder if i don't also want an academic component with some writing and teaching, especially since it's an opportunity i have now, to try and integrate these worlds, and once i quit, i won't have it again. can i make a real, honest commitment to it, finally? and, is it worth it?

i think that i'll spend the next few weeks brainstorming this and i can spend some time at the uni library while i'm visiting mum over the holidays.

spinning into the season

2011-12-15T01:54:00.008-05:00

some custom spins for a local who also wants lessons! what is it i was just saying about teaching? the blog is such a powerful tool for focusing our intentions - even if i mostly just ask questions! it's still putting it out there. and i'll get to follow jude's awesome "do it" comment, even though it's lost now. that woman packs the wisdom. but it was there for a day or two, you might have even seen it.

so a number of weeks worth of comments have gone missing. i'm pretty upset with blogger for somehow changing my comment settings so that no-one could comment (thanks so much grace for telling me!) but in trying to fix it, i deleted the thingymawidget that i had installed to allow threaded comments. and that's what lost everyone's comments. they weren't actually part of blogger, they were part of "intense debate" or whatever, so now they are just gone. i spent more than a day messing with wordpress and debating the merits of various blogging platforms.. i haven't decided anything yet, i still like my little blog and it feels like home. so it's not that huge of a thing i guess, but..

i really love comments! so thank you for each and every one. even if they aren't here now.

update **thanks to my wonderful mentor mathyld, i've replaced some of the comments manually, from my emails, with your names and url's. the dates and times are still wrong. but yay!

2011-12-10T16:32:00.002-05:00

just a little stitching last night on a thrifted flax linen shirt. it's actually deep purplish brown, eggplant, aubergine colour. not as blue as it looks in these pics. possibly the beginnings of a kimoodie. inspired by grace, and of course, jude. i know i'm going to line it so that it's layered and warmer. and then add some beasts so that my friends are with me.

i liebster u

2011-12-06T23:43:00.007-05:00

Thank you to Marie Elcin at Colored Thread for selecting my little blog for a Liebster Blog award! Marie has chimed in with her insights at crucial times in my blogging career. As an arts educator as well as a fiber artist, she has a great deal of wisdom to share with the bloggyverse. This is my first blog award EVA, so I'm brimming with happy, and even more pleased to pay-it-forward....

Here's how it works:

The Criteria: The Liebster is meant to showcase bloggers who have fewer than 200 followers. This is all done in the spirit of pay-it-forward.
The Rules: You must mention and link to the person who awarded you the Liebster, and mention 5 other blogs with fewer than 200 followers who you think are worthy of the Liebster!
'Liebster' means "favorite" or "dearest" in German. This award, which originated in Germany, recognizes up and coming bloggers. In accepting this award, I agree to:

-Thank the person who gave me the award, and link back to their blog.
-Copy and paste the award to my blog.
-Reveal the 5 blogs I have chosen to award and let them know in the hope they pay it forward by awarding it to bloggers they would like to honor.

It's often difficult to see how many followers a particular blog has, and that's with good reason because the follower widget is not aesthetically pleasing, and so many artsy sorts decline to have it. So I've just chosen a handful of bloggers who I admire and appreciate their sensibilities, both in fiber and as a blogger.

These particular blogs also stand out for me because they cross and combine fiber genres to some degree, with artists who stitch, knit, dye, spin, work in paper, leather, and more. Even within fiber worlds, there are many subcultures and blogcircles, which is wonderful for community-building, but I happen to especially love the overlaps. I think there's even more room for magic when skills and groups come together or even collide...

Without further ado... I hereby present the Liebster Award to:

Clarabella

The Prim Pumpkin

Handstories

arts and cats

Stitch and Tickle

Please take a peek... pure inspiration and eye candy abound!

gauntlets of bunny

2011-12-03T23:05:00.007-05:00

this is my favourite pair so far. this is called chocolate and it's from from my waldorf. the extra-furry parts are corespun with the tips left sticking out. these haven't been worn yet or had a chance to "bloom", so i'm looking forward to see the wild furriness after they are broken in, in california. yep, i'm spreading around the bunny medicine. and gauntlets always remind me of wonder-woman power!

i've been thinking a lot about what i'm doing, and what i'm doing. you know, whether there's a purpose to my life and work other than making myself happy and making pretty things. i read so many artists who are working hard to brighten someone's day and inspire others. or to express their spiritual purpose or raise consciousness... lots of things. i'm not sure what my deal is. i know i'm all about the critters, and about the histories of crafts, like spinning. beyond the pleasures of fiber work, those seem to be my main motivators. is this enough though, is this the life i want? i thought it was, but that was before living it. i feel pretty cut off from 'reality', whatever that is, most of the time.

which i love. i love my life. i've never been able to say that before the last few years. but i'm wondering... whether i need to give back, or more, or differently. i never loved teaching when i was in grad school, but it was rewarding.. and the stress of it had more to do with the subject (visual culture) than just being in that role. i wonder if i'd enjoy teaching something hands-on, or if i am just going to always be more comfy with a less social sort of existence. teaching is just one way to have a different sense of connection or purpose to my work. just what i'm chewing on these days.

alvin, the taliesin

2011-11-30T02:08:00.005-05:00

so in love with this being who is now sharing our environs. alvin.

almond delight is also magical, but slightly hostile. she lunges at my hands, grunts and pees in her food. i love her spunkiness, but i haven't had the nerve to ask her to pose for me yet.

happy thanksgiving, from gomez and narcissa

2011-11-24T16:55:00.009-05:00

it's so strange that last year at this time, we lost lurch, our first, glorious turkey tom. and now, this year, gomez (who was given to us earlier this year) has been sick! i can't help but wonder if it's some collective turkey angst they are feeling. not to guilt my dear readers with this post - we do eat meat around here, but not our friends. typical american dissonance going on.

this thanksgiving is a little meager on the food front... hub can only eat soft foods still, following on his hospital trip, and i opted for green bean casserole, one of my faves. but still some lovely pumpkin pie, candlelight, crafting, writing, maybe a fire in the woodstove later.. all the wonderful things we enjoy every day.

even though gomez is still a little pooky, he seems to be doing better. and so is hub. we are all very thankful for that, and for so many things, and trying to stay in that gratitudinal frame of mind.

wishing you love this turkey day.

2011-11-22T23:40:00.005-05:00

for newborn hats..

last night was in the hospital with hub. he's ok today and we're finally home, but we are down one night of sleep. nights spent like that, among unknown doctors and iv's and strange lighting, they always seem surreal. like a tv show (the kingdom is one of my faves). i had to snap some pics to return to some normalcy before taking to my bed.

btw i crocheted two awesome pairs of bunny paws in the hospital. i was comforted by the yarn and my hand-carved wooden crochet hook (a sweet gift from hub) and supportive emails from cindy. the nurses took no notice the bit of fluff flying around. although one showed me a phone pic of a sweater that his mum had knitted for him.. it took her ten years.

so many friends

2011-11-17T22:56:00.017-05:00

just a few snaps from today.. i'm in good company.
and i'm going to visit a couple of rabbits tomorrow.
they are looking for homes.. one has outlived her breeding years..
and the other has floppy ears! not ideal for an angora.
so the farmer offered them to me.
alvin, the german angora lop! and almond delight, a chocolate french grand dame.

i never know if i should expand and have more rabbits, for fun and for my business. i change my mind on this all the time. we have six, which is a lot! and they are a lot of work. but right now, i end up buying a good bit of fiber to meet the demand in my shop (a dream come true)! i can usually supplement this way, but sometimes it isn't easy to find - and i must know where it comes from, only from farmers and bunnies i know and love.

so hub and i find ourselves once again thinking about expanding our rabbitry/screened porch.. and if so, how? should we actually raise rabbits? or should we just take in retired and unwanted rabbits? (i've long admired Sandy of Homestead Wool, a true animal-friendly farm.) i don't want to get overwhelmed with rabbits. so it's probably best not to get into breeding, because that can get out of hand really quickly. and i don't want to sell animals. but we both love taking care of critters. and we don't have kids at home.
and..

wish me luck tomorrow meeting alvin and almond delight.

oh! and today i had an awesome score.
we have recycling centers in each little town with swap shops, which is just that.
a shed where people leave things and take things.
some beautiful soul left (just for me, i'm convinced)
a MASSIVE crocheted ruffle.
it is so huge that i had trouble carrying it by myself.
here it is covering my entire worktable:

when i first spied it, i thought it was a bedspread, but no, it has a very definite edge. and it's about 16 feet long!
was it a valance? a bedskirt? an alien life form? what on earth could it be used for?
oh, what a find !

under wraps

2011-11-15T13:08:00.005-05:00

i love wrapping etsy packages..
this one was for my dear lisa.
she loves beautiful trimmings as much as i do.

seemingly lots of changes afoot these days.
with hub's business, my own studio time and then traveling around..
but i'm home for awhile and busy with my fingers in many pots. just like i like it.

what's inside

2011-11-05T18:01:00.009-04:00

this handmade doll body, picked up by mum to go with an antique china head that she had also found, had a surprising interior.. not sawdust or excelsior or cotton... but tightly rolled-up old quilt pieces. we don't want to take the body apart to examine it... but are enjoying how it's peeking out from its sutures..

if i know mum, soon she'll have her head attached and be prettily dressed and very dignified once again.

i'm discovering much about the interior journey lately. still feeling a bit pre-verbal but hopefully i'll be able to share more with you soon.

paws up!

2011-10-31T00:54:00.006-04:00

i've been doing a lot of mitt-making. the angora rabbit fur is so warm that they are great for sore joints, and cold nights. paws up, little monsters! let's ring in this new year of the Wild.

ain't the roses sweet

2011-10-25T23:15:00.009-04:00

i traveled to asheville over the weekend for SAFF, the biggest fiber fair in the southeast u.s. i met my old friend janet. i hadn't seen her in years. we went to this festival together in the early 2000's, both wishing we could spend all our time crafting. i was full of memories of that weekend and all that's changed in the interim.

we stayed up almost all night each night gabbing, ate lots of pasta (janet's favorite). i took a heritage crochet class with rita de maintenon. fell in love with a ram named ty. janet said i needed to see the grove park inn, and she was so right. brought home some new books, tools, fleece... and talked to a number of lovely vendors. saw wild turkeys in someone's yard. SAFF has to be a annual event for me, it has to!

archaeology of elders

2011-10-17T15:52:00.009-04:00

i had a big surprise once i started removing the binding from this quilt. i had planned to just use it as the center of my elder cloth and expand around it with the wool blanket and other pieces, but as it turns out... it had been a larger quilt at one time, and had been folded in half and re-bound and quilted... presumably due to the wear on the top side, now the inside...

so strange how i've had this quilt for a while and had no idea what treasures were inside. some of the patterns look 30s or 40s with their dotted designs. i still love the back, it reminds me of hobo fabrics, but with this discovery, i'm rethinking the whole design.

i find all these tatters and bits of batting incredibly beautiful. i'd like to just tack most of them down rather than patch over them, but some of them i'll patch with the elder-dyed muslin. i also thought about trying to felt some of them down.. i'm assuming the batting is cotton, but perhaps i could add some wool. although i don't want to do anything to further damage the fabrics, so i doubt that would work. i'd have to remove the top layer of piecing and apply it to a prefelt, and i don't know how much of it would survive. i've seen quilts that looked almost as delicate as this one in places, but i do want it to be strong and usable as a blanket, preferably even washable. would a million quilting stitches on top of the batting accomplish that?

for the new year, inspired by jude, i've started to set a course. the theme is 'wild' or 'the wild.' i don't have a colour or shape yet. brown is feeling good right now, but i'm not sure i've fully explored grey yet. and then blue has been coming up for me a lot lately, and that is new. i don't have a shape yet either, i'm not sure i work that way.

things are weird here right now. the beginning of fall has me looking inward and wanting to go deeper. i always want things to stay the same and am reluctant to take things apart, get rid of or improve anything. wabi-sabi is such a fabulous, comforting philosophy and aesthetic, but i worry that so much nostalgia keeps me stuck, disempowered, and keeps me from taking part. always obsessing over what to keep, what to mend, what to give up... and too much inertia. i feel the need for some deep healing and release and think i'm ready.

the boys..

2011-10-15T00:48:00.004-04:00

the lamb twins were born in august to parsley, a ewe who also birthed twins in the spring at the 'ripe' age of 11.

so they were a 'whoops' and their mama didn't have enough milk.

so the shepherdess bottle-raised them and looked for a home and found me.

they are jacob sheep, known for their spots and their horns.

little basil has four horns and oregano, his brother, has two.

i love their names but i've taken to calling them lovey..

and pokey... nicknames are good too.

they are crazy about their bottles.

and settling in really well.

they are very special.

for anyone who's doing instagram, mine has turned into instalamb.

elderberry and blueberry

2011-10-12T22:25:00.013-04:00

i dyed the cloth pictured down at the bottom of this post, a lovely handwoven wool one, for my elder cloth.

the blanket was two bolts of fabric hand stitched together, so i unstitched it and dyed half with elderberry and half with blueberry. with the elderberry, i rolled the leaves into the blanket and hot bundled (steamed) it on the stove and then let it sit for about a week. for the blueberry side, i had frozen some blueberries, and i rolled them into the fabric and pounded them a bit with a hammer, and then bundled and let it sit in cold water with a sprinkle of wood ash for about a week. (techniques inspired by and learned from india flint's books.)

elderberry's mule friend for much of her life was named blueberry, who predeceased her by about twelve years. elderberry mourned her for a long time. so now they'll be reunited in cloth.

things have been exciting around here though.. we brought home two bottle babies, lamb twins, the other day. they were already named, basil and oregano. and the story continues.

the way shearing should be

2011-10-09T18:31:00.006-04:00

i went over to laura's yesterday, my friend and the farmer of dew dance farm. laura's farm is so idyllic and i'm convinced her life is charmed. her sheep and goats just stand calmly while laura shears them. so peaceful and lovely!

i went to help shear muriel the angora goat and purchase her fleece, but when i got there, laura and her husband george had it all under control. i just sipped my coffee and enjoyed.

and today i am washing muriel's lovely locks... shiny curls in all shades of grey and some creamy blonde. thank you laura, george and muriel!

shee-faak!

2011-10-06T23:48:00.008-04:00

i just finished stitching this silky sifaka on vintage cotton eco-dyed with elderberry. thanks so much to richard for this special commission.

this type of lemur is critically endangered. please go learn more at simpona and help if you can.

the secret is

2011-09-30T20:18:00.004-04:00

time.

these don't smell good, especially the longest one which has been sealed outside in a canning jar for a month. but oh... yes. elderberry and dahlia mordanted in a bath of wood ash. the top one has been sitting in cast iron.

tonight, i'm drinking spiced apple mead and watching a pot of water.

why i have too many things..

2011-09-29T21:20:00.006-04:00

a baby quilt, another estate find by mum. i couldn't resist showing you. hope you're enjoying such sweetness & light wherever you are.

going for It.

2011-09-22T18:49:00.009-04:00

just realized my bunny mitts were on etsy's front page on sept. 14..

and, i'm at 99 sales! it's auspicious, since lately i've decided to work on making my etsy business my full-time gig. i want to start thinking of my business as a real Thing and treating it like a job - a dream job, not one of those that i've enjoyed calling in, and quitting.. i don't want to turn into one of those adver-tweeters or anything, but i do want to make a living doing what i love..

it's hard for me to come at things head-on like this. i like to approach things sideways, and act as if they aren't really a big deal. it's safer and also part of my cancer nature. but i do want this, i really, really do.

etsy's holiday boot camp starts today. for some reason, i love their checklists. one of the steps is to share your goals for the season. so here's what i need to focus on right now:

*creating new yarns and making sure i have enough to carry me for a few months. i want to do a line of fall-winter yarns and also some holiday-ish yarns. i also have a few new ideas that i need to make time for..

*creating a business plan - i'm using the right-brain business plan book) that i found through the effervescent k-wow of while tangerine dreams. then once i'm clearer on that vision, i'll have a benchmark to evaluate everything i'm creating and putting out there in the world.

i'm telling you all these things to make them real to myself and to make me feel accountable. i also found a perfect boot camp buddy, Mystic Hills Ngaroma. she's a doll artist who lives on a sheep farm in new zealand! help keep me straight, y'all!

bunny modeling

2011-09-20T20:38:00.004-04:00

henry is the handsomest rabbit ever to exist.

he came with me to the hotel today for a photo shoot (more pics here). he seemed to enjoy exploring the environs, and his supermodel status. he's gracing my new fall banner for petit bones. sexy beast!

woolgathering

2011-09-19T21:43:00.008-04:00

wool·gath·er·ing [wool-gath-er-ing]
noun
1. indulgence in idle fancies and in daydreaming; absentmindedness: His woolgathering was a handicap in school.
2. gathering of the tufts of wool shed by sheep and caught on bushes.

thank you, freedom

cassandra

emma

and flirta.

all gorgeous shetland sheep from rare find farm. and thanks to lynn, their sweet shepherd mama. this is the farm where my own sheepies came from, but my sheep are grey, brown and black, and i needed these pretty whites, creams and silver-greys. i especially love cassandra's fleece - she is a fawn katmoget ewe, which means she's marked like my georgie with a darker underside, but she's white on top and fawn underneath. GORjuss.

3. basking in clouds of comfort and safety
4. smelling the smell of distant rain, feeling the damp earth
5. bliss

cottoning

2011-09-16T20:21:00.006-04:00

this is a small piece i've been thinking on for a while. i'm playing around with scraps right now and may start stitching this weekend. this isn't how i expected this creature to go... but as i was playing, i realized i've become a little freer, a little more adventurous with my piecing. and i thought i was just listening to jude and nothing was taking hold... but when i was working i could feel her influence, giving me permission to cut a little here, try a little something ... so good to be shifting and working differently! thank you, jude in my head!

i've been drawn to old cotton batting pulled from quilt scraps as applique.. i think these pieces are flattened enough that they'll be secure after they are stitched. i've also been carding them into fiber and spinning them. those bits are just so soft and comforting, and they haven't seen the light in such a long time.

i've been thinking a lot about the difference - if there is one - between being an artist and an artisan. i have called myself a fiber artist for the last while, and that was partly aspirational. i also love everything conjured by the word artisan. i just don't like the sound of 'fiber artisan' and i never hear it used. i'm wondering too if maybe these terms have different meanings or inflections when it comes to fiber work. i think a friend told me that artisan in french has a different connotation, something like 'worker' - you-hoo - did i remember that right?

i'm also inspired by the recuperation of the word "craft" but i tend not to use it, especially locally, since i think it can still play into those old boundaries between art & craft... some people still take it as "just" craft. i applied for an "emerging artists" grant yesterday and i had to check the "craft" category. they had painting, sculpture, photography, dance, some other categories... and craft. strange that they lumped all fiber work into that. i'm still vaguely annoyed by it. i think that since they were describing everything in terms of medium, it should have been "fiber" or "textile".

the more i think about all this, the more ambivalent i feel about calling myself an artist... because i'm fine with doing work just because i like it, or because i want to. it doesn't have to Mean. although sometimes it does. it is important to me to be good at what i do though, to be or become technically proficient at it. so what does that make me?

HH

2011-09-15T20:15:00.002-04:00

it's been pretty cool setting up and working in the studio again. seeing bits i forgot i love... it's certainly a change, and i hate change. i miss the sounds of the dogs and roosters. but there's all this space, and and light, and patti smith, and... some moments i feel elated, others teary. it's working.

one of my favorite things

2011-09-11T19:38:00.003-04:00

someone unknown to me cross-stitched twelve eagles and quilted them. eleven eagles face one way, and the bottom left one is the mirror image. the quilt needs some tlc. it has many small tears and some staining. but overall it's quite strong, and lovely.

i love india's post today.

always something to stitch

2011-09-09T00:11:00.016-04:00

wondering what to work on, and then looked down..

starting a bit today, and more tomorrow, i'm moving my studio back to the hotel ... i haven't been working there this summer for lots of reasons - there was a storm that blew off the roof, then there was the heat, then sarah hosted a show. slowly all my projects moved home. but now there's more space, and we have a new plan to expand and inhabit the whole space, just the two of us.

i'll miss the gentleness and comfort of working at home, but i was happier when i was at the hotel. less isolated. more productive, more creative. more able to find what i'm looking for and be inspired by materials (and protect them from moths and mice). and the kitty-energy, it's completely different from the dog love at home. the new environment will enable a different sort of continuing... i'm excited to get set up and unearth my stash, and see everything again with new eyes.

a new heirloom

2011-09-02T15:23:00.006-04:00

a yard sale find.

at first i thought it was knitted, but now i think it's crochet. anyone recognize the stitch? and then at first i thought the colourwork was intarsia, but all the designs are actually cross-stitched on top! so much work, P.S.D. i'll mend the holes, and be a good caretaker in this lifetime.

elements of elders

2011-08-27T00:20:00.009-04:00

after the elation of dyeing the cloth for what i had envisioned as my elder cloth background, i've hit another wall. i can't get past the need to have an overall design before i start stitching. but i don't think i want to do it that way. i want it to evolve slowly, a bit at a time.

i've been planning to position the old quilt in the center, like a saddle blanket, and then have an equine shape coming out from above and beneath it, stretched out something like a bear rug. this shape would be of woven pieces collaged together, and the background would be the leaf-dyed cloth patched together but without the raggedy edges. so that it would be her laying peacefully on a bed of leaves.

then after looking at second skin, i was thinking of using the handwoven wool blanket i showed you awhile ago (pics toward the bottom of that post) as a foundation and batting, but could also be dyed and exposed in places. it would also be great for needle-felting some knit pieces. but it is only as wide as a double bed, plus i want to limit the thickness, which means i need to disassemble it along that central seam and position it on either side of the saddle blanket. and then i would need a different background above and below the saddle blanket.

i think this is all begging the question of whether i'm going to take apart the saddle blanket, or just build around it. extending it on each side without taking it apart seems interesting to me. it would be a blanket within a blanket, and reversible. and in looking at all the elements, i'm not sure i want this sort of large, literal equine image, mostly because then i can't build it slowly. each piece would have to be part of a larger plan. but i also don't just want a hoof here, a tail there, dismembered. how do i move back and forth between details and the larger design?

i am longing to start stitching. and see where it leads. but i've rarely been happy with the results when i've stitched that way. i like experimental stitching but within a larger overall plan. there is a lot of pressure with this elder cloth concept. i need to lighten this burden somehow. she only worked the grand canyon as a young mule, not when i knew her. i guess heaviness and lightness are part of her story too.

sweet jungle

2011-08-25T20:23:00.002-04:00

vintage runner bundled with elderberry leaves and sitting in cast iron for the last week.

i love how it's turned out and will be stitching on it after it dries.

ghosts are converging

2011-08-24T16:32:00.008-04:00

elderberry and rust-dyed yarns. i just love the odd shades of these. i do have a grey sheep, so maybe they are not all that incredible, but still, it's different.

the yarns contain the ghost of the sheep and also of the elderberry bush (both happily living down the road, but the sheep is elderly). and the ghost of the horse-shoe that one skein was wrapped around in the dyebath. or no, actually this one was wrapped around a rusty car part. well, maybe a less romantic ghost. but that brings up this question about plant and animal fibers that i'm working through... are these ghosts, traces, remnants - are they works of imagination? or is the fact that the sheep or plant or horseshoe or car part was really There, how much does that matter?

the fiber is There, and it is marked. it has qualities specific to its ghosts. so even though someone who ends up with this yarn (or the yarn made into mittens) may not see the ghosts, they were, are There.

everyone is talking about ghosts. or i'm just noticing the ones talking about ghosts. jude's concept of ghosting from magic diaries. also this chapter by carla freccero on queer spectrality. and last night, sarah seeing in my eco-prints their ghostly potential for quilting. working through how these are related.. this is my task.

baby bird batts

2011-08-22T00:24:00.003-04:00

all carded up and ready to hatch in the shop..

elderberry on muslin

2011-08-20T17:49:00.007-04:00

well, i didn't have quite the success that grace did with just leaving elderberry bundles out in pots for a week, the results then were really light. but the time in the pots pre-mordanted them for hot-bundling on the stove. yesterday i let the fabric and leaf roll-ups steam on a rack in a pot of boiling water for about an hour.

all of these were sitting in the copper pot all week, and then hot bundled on the stove:

these were sitting in the cast iron pot, and then hot bundled on the stove.

the striations are from the twine. i think this one's my fave.

this one had some pokeberry leaves in it too.

this one had no pre-mordant, but a soak in an elderberry bath that was sitting in the crock pot after i dyed some yarn (which made the background much pink-er), and then hot-bundled with elderberry leaves and some pokeberry leaves.

what i'm imagining now is using these to create blocks to surround the saddle blanket, as if elderberry's resting in a bed of leaves. i've got some muslin soaking in ash water, and i'll see how the same leaves print a second time. i'll also try some dahlia and purple basil leaves from the garden.

everything is better with dinosaurs

2011-08-18T20:45:00.008-04:00

i was paging through a vintage knitting magazine the other night ... this was from a collection inspired by the new york state fair!

happenings

2011-08-17T19:30:00.007-04:00

i spent a nice afternoon cuddling the kitty and devouring india's new book (long awaited and even better than imagined... i'll probably be obsessively huddled with it for a few days). and in other news..

one of the feathers from my flock floated off to jude today...

it seems our last show at the Hadley made the Greensboro paper!

dear miss hadley is showing off her lovely figure..

and here's a block i stitched for the elder cloth with the paperless piecing method..

i have a general design plan now using the old quilt as a center, and i was planning to use this fabric from a thrifted dress for part of it. i like the pattern in this fabric, but now after stitching it, i'm not sure how it'll work with the other fabrics. i thought it was all linen but there's some rayon lurking in there skewing things. it's just so bendy. anyone have thoughts on rayon??

and i am actually, finally working on my proposal for school with an actual plan. and yes, it involves cloth making. it's gobbledygook right now but it is coming along, which is a relief. hope with me that i can persuade them!

bubble bubble

2011-08-15T22:07:00.006-04:00

so much is percolating these days..

the elderberry leaves are bundled tightly inside the muslin... but now that i've added yarn, do i need more leaves floating?

the dye garden is flourishing.

and back indoors.

meeting the elders

2011-08-14T14:10:00.009-04:00

my good friend laura told me via facebook that there had been an elderberry sighting in the area. she said her friend said to turn down toward the old place from the highway and there would be elderberry in a ditch on the right. it took me a bit to decipher the directions, not being familiar at first with the "old place" (it reminded me of an old southern expression about pig paths, but apparently i can't remember that either), but it turned out to be a landmark country buffet and less than a mile from my house!

so yesterday we went to find her... and there she was...

she and others, at least three huge bushes! also, we had a delicious meal at the old place... candied yams, turnip greens, blackberry cobbler and other faves. i always love places where we are the youngest folks there. and how silly that it took facebook to connect us with our own neighborhood... (we really are hermits!)

i asked mother elder's permission and she seemed okay with being part of my cloth. i was careful not to take too much. she had a few berries but most of them had been eaten. and now my muslin elderbundles are stewing in the sun in copper, iron and enamel pots (i couldn't find an aluminum). and today i will toss some yarn in there too. it will be hard to wait a whole week, but magic takes time.

2011-08-12T19:36:00.003-04:00

who needs low-lights in their hair when feathers abound? you knew i would follow this trend.

tea and bleach

2011-08-09T16:30:00.012-04:00

trying some solar dyeing with natural dyes from blue castle fiber arts. i've never tried the powdered stuff, and it even comes with an herbal mordant! so i'm enjoying the experimenting... and putting this blazing sun to some good use..

feathers gathered just from this afternoon.. the birds are moulting. lots of tail feathers this time of year too, on the ground, not on the birds. i wonder if they know about jude's magic feather project.. i think they might send her some real feathers along with the stitched ones.

a little experiment with bleach and tea, tea and bleach. staining and removing stain, like remembering and forgetting, over and over. the splotchiness of this block may be overdone 80s, but it does remind me of elderberry's colours. her horse mom was an appaloosa. i was thinking a lot about elderberry being sterile and how i think that's part of what makes me want to honor her. i worry about mules, maiden aunties, spinsters, and crones without offspring... who will remember us? i am working on expanding my outworn ideas of family and fertility.

the heat has inhibited exploring and gathering, but i still need to look for an elderberry bush nearby. there was a lovely mother elder at our old house, sprung right at the site of the blanched, fallen oak, but i never dyed with her. i'm so grateful to have found some elderberry partners.

well, crap. or, possibly a plan.

2011-08-04T23:31:00.011-04:00

alrighty, so. i think many of you know i've been struggling with grad school for ages. i imagine that some friends are really so, so tired of me talking about it, talking about quitting, talking about topics, blah blah. i finished everything except my dissertation, so i've been ABD since 2008. then i went on a leave of absence, but came back and have had a series of false starts. the program is interdisciplinary but something like cultural studies. my advisor is a visual anthropologist.. she makes ethnographic films. my interests have centered on folklife, usually in the u.s. south, and usually related to rural skills, and especially animal husbandry and related practices. at one time, i wanted to be a professor, but i'm an artist at heart, or at least a wannabe. so that's one reason i haven't been motivated to finish - because i don't think a ph.d will help me be an artist. but i haven't been able to quit, either.

but so recently i've learned that my school will accept a dissertation that consists at least partly of an art work. it's not an MFA program, but since it is interdisciplinary, they have been talking about nontraditional dissertation forms for ages, and apparently they are now starting to accept them. so i'm told that i could do an art work and then write about it. presumably the art would fulfill a chapter, and then there would be a chapter contextualizing it, and maybe a chapter analyzing it... or something. did i already tell you all this? i feel like i have.

so what about having this elder cloth be part of my dissertation? the subject of it, i mean. i have a glimmer of how this could work. everything from the materials to the process to the story. and situated ... somewhere. historically, and within stitching (and perhaps spinning, weaving or farming) communities and now online art communities. within the slow cloth movement. among women who are also making.

there are some parameters. it has to fit within my previous areas of study. otherwise i will have to re-do my comprehensive exams. then it has to fit within my advisors' areas of expertise. and then it has to fit with what the graduate committee has already approved for me. it's possible to change or shift some of these, but not ideal. i think all this means that i need to conversate with academic work in visual anthropology, memory studies and animal studies. so that it's consistent with what i've done before, it's important that it be related to animals, not just that the cloth is 'for' elderberry, but probably that some of the materials derive from animals. i *think* it could fit... but maybe not, i'm still reaching.

if i could do this in the context of my current program, i think it would be great. i'd be motivated to work on it, because it's work i want to be doing anyway. i'm inspired, of course, by jude. not that i should try to do what she does, i couldn't possibly, but i can imagine some sort of a slow cloth journey being documented and all of that forming the basis of a dissertation. why not?

so now i need to brainstorm, refine, and convince.

i've been tasked to map out my plan by August 31 and so i am overdue on the getting-with-it. here are the questions i need to answer:

Describe your research question/hypothesis or research objective? What will the focus of your investigation be?

How does your research build on your existing dissertation research and what fields/disciplines will it draw upon?

What evidence/materials do you need to collect to answer your research question and how will you go about collecting it?

What skills and training are required for this work and what has prepared you to do this research?

What is the significance of your project? What fields/disciplines will it contribute to and how?

so i'm going to take some time and think on these questions and brainstorm. this is all very early, draft-y and provisional. i don't want to self-edit too much here or be embarrassed for trying. i don't feel like i can do this alone.

FO! estonian lace

2011-07-31T01:09:00.006-04:00

i brought the almost-finished estonian lace shawl to mum's with me, and finished blocking and weaving in the ends here. it looks nice over her black. i told pop that now he must take her to the opera, but the symphony would be good too.

i'm so glad to see it finished and hugging her, for when i am not here to.

looking some more

2011-07-28T13:47:00.004-04:00

and imagining ways to extend and embellish..

2011-07-27T15:05:00.001-04:00

the other night, drinking wine and listening to amy winehouse. already such a great memory.

not stitching, but looking and thinking

2011-07-25T21:07:00.015-04:00

this yard sale pincushion is as heavy as a brick, and a bit larger than one. such pretty, spidery old stitches.

every time i go yard saling with mum, i end up with such treasures.

i'm stuck on my elder cloth for now. no progress really. it's my fear of starting, and cutting. this has to do i think with inertia, or a fear of change. strange because i crave change in terms of traveling and moving (jobs, ha!) and other activities. but with objects and places, beautiful ones, i want them to remain the same, even if they could be 'improved.' jude has so much wisdom on starting and continuing.

i really try not to buy so many vintage linens any more. but some of them are too beautiful and at 25 cents, a compulsion. sometimes i think i could use them in a larger cloth, but i haven't figured that out yet. i was thinking of going in more of a boro direction for a bit, and to me, they don't fit with that. i could just play with them, but i still feel like they are too precious, even though (or especially because) they are already stained, ripped, mended.

so i guess the big issue i'm having with my cloth is my fabric stash. i'm not really prepared for this project. i need loosely woven, plain cloth, but so much of my stash is thick and fancy fabrics i've collected for crazy quilts (i love crazy quilts absolutely, but i don't want to work in that style for this project). i also want soft, natural colours to complement the cloth i'm starting with. i don't really have any though, and i don't want to buy. i've found some cotton and linen shirts while thrifting, but i can't seem to make myself cut up a perfectly good shirt. i have some muslin, but i need to dye it.

so i'm on the very slow, slow cloth plan. starting with muslin and bundling and natural dyes. elderberry dye, and dye in the colours of elderberry. i might even try to weave some of these blocks not just with fabric, but with yarn too. yarn i spin and dye from wool or cotton that i process myself. this may be so ambitious that i get overwhelmed or never finish, but right now it sounds like just the thing. and i will savor every little step. it's just gonna take a while.

2011-07-22T22:21:00.003-04:00

it's always a bit spooky staying up late alone at mum's. the house is so quiet but there are many sets of eyes.

2011-07-19T00:20:00.004-04:00

i haven't been spinning every day of the tour, but still pedaling along..

i'm finishing up the last leg of the tour here at mum's.

another beginning

2011-07-12T19:04:00.007-04:00

i'm starting my elder cloth with another cloth...

this is the vintage lap quilt that i was thinking about. i'm glad that now that i've unearthed it, i love it as much as i thought i would for this project. it reminds me of elderberry's colours, and those two white patches are the light in her eyes. and then it's a bit like the blankie i was knitting for her, and reminds me of a saddle blanket, except that the blocks are irregular. there isn't a lot of quilting but there are little holes and tears and staining.

i'm not sure yet if i want to take it apart and make it larger, or just mainly mend and embellish it in its current size. the size is really nice, and not too cumbersome. i guess i will need to take it apart in any event, and decide whether to keep the batting or not, although i'll hate to remove those hand stitches.

*thanks deanna7trees for the tips on needlefelting!

2011-07-11T16:00:00.008-04:00

here's the blanket pattern that i started knitting for ms. elderberry. it's from a cute book called Pet Projects.

it looks like i had finished four blocks and almost a fifth. i love the ideas posted in the comments about felting part of what i had knitted, but i don't think it's possible because the yarn is (horrors!) acrylic. still, i like the bucking bronco block, and some of the others, so i want to figure out a way to incorporate it if possible. i've never noticed knitting stitched directly on top of fabric, can it look good?

i've also been thinking about this one old quilt that i have tucked away. something about it keeps popping in my head for this project... it's lovely as old quilts are, but it's not really *special* and it needs some repairs. plus, it's not that big, maybe four feet by six or something like that. i wonder about using this as a base for my magic elder cloth. perhaps even take it apart or extend it.

one reason that i haven't done more in the way of learning to quilt is that i have a nice collection going of old beauties, and mum is always finding a tattered lovely at an estate sale for an irresistible bargain (she is magic that way). but the idea of taking one that needs help and and transforming it into something very personal and meaningful is appealing.. but i have to look and think on it... i am usually so loathe to cut into something i already love. off to scour the armoire and other stashes...

2011-07-10T16:47:00.003-04:00

i went to take pics of today's tdf yarn, and i can't find my camera!! freaky-freak... anyhoo here are some afternoon hipstamatics..

this will look so much better with my other camera... could not capture the great 80s colours..

a drawer full o'lettuce.

my light green hydrangea, planted last year, and coming into full bloom. it is so big and full and right outside my window.

i've wanted dahlias for *so* *long* and now they are growing bigger by the day.

the dye garden is doing pretty well, actually. cleaning the rabbit cages yesterday seems to have turbo-charged it. i'm such a novice gardener, so the smallest growth thrills me.

an elder cloth

2011-07-09T23:51:00.008-04:00

the magic diaries just started, a long-term journey with jude hill in cloth-making. i had no clear inspiration until now for a large cloth. but now i think i'd love to make an elderberry cloth.

i am thinking about whether to make it a representational piece. that would be difficult to do on such a large scale. maybe a small image of her on a large cloth. i wanted to move toward a more abstract way of expressing, but i am still not sure why or what that even means. there's a sense that representational work is somehow lesser, but surely that's nothing i need to concern myself with. i might have wanted to move toward abstract to allow things to be put together in different ways. not to be tied to an overarching image, but more free and poetry. but i want to make sure i don't dis/member elderberry in the process.

i've been reading some of my friend harlan's work on affect, which is something like a feeling or emotion but more bodily. less voluntary too. he also writes about the responsible way to respond to someone, especially when they die. like how to be haunted by them, intimately and vulnerably. these are things i want to explore. somehow even though i'm making it about her, it will end up being about me. i'm thinking that's probably not good, but still unavoidable. what she means to me has a lot to do with her, but maybe more to do with my feelings of guilt, loss, nostalgia. so i'm thinking it would end up being more about elders in general. but doesn't the mule deserve a cloth?

jude says to hold the idea close, get to know it. i love this.

maybe all the other stuff that would go into the cloth is the context for the mule. grace was writing about context. i mean, just to stitch her colours and shapes and eyes and tail would be no more the whole of her than something more layered with histories. and we do co-constitute each other, after all, we're not separate.

i never finished that knitted saddle blanket for her. the intarsia wasn't going well, and i didn't love the yarn. and i told myself she wouldn't have cared about it anyway. so it's in the knitting basket, in pieces. i wonder if there's a way to use the knitted pieces somehow in this cloth. or some of the yarn. or the design of it. hmmm, there's an idea! the design was what i loved. it looks like the pattern isn't on ravelry. i'll have to take a pic from the book and post it. it would work well as an inspiration to be translated into a quilted cloth because it is the type of thing that could be worked in small pieces. and it would be so nice to finish her blanket after all.

we miss you girl

2011-07-07T00:31:00.015-04:00

our magnificent mule, elderberry, passed on this morning.
we think she was around 50.

i was told by an unreliable source that she worked the grand canyon for years.
i've known her since 2003, when this pic was taken.

she only started enjoying being petted a few weeks ago. before that, she tolerated it, but always walked away if she could. so the last few weeks were a special time.

i'm so grateful that she was with us in her retirement.

so strange tonight without her whinny-bray echoing in the wind.

i really love thinking of her as young again, running free.

2011-07-04T01:29:00.005-04:00

simple spinning, that's what i'm longing for these days. it feels so restful right now to let the fibers slide through my fingers rather than wrestle with a bulky add-ins, or even a plan. a good thought for life too, maybe, something like letting it come and be what it wants to be?

i've not been well, lately, not at all.
i am hopeful though. test results this week.
and on drs. orders, have changed my diet so completely - only eating whole foods and no soy, gluten, dairy or corn. it's long overdue really that i start taking care of myself this way.
if i could just relax and focus on feeling better instead of all my worries x1000.
forgive me if i'm not all that attentive ... i want to catch up with friends and on lots of things. if you're reading this, it's likely that i love and miss you.

ringing in the tour de fleece

2011-07-02T00:04:00.009-04:00

with a little spin....
the cirque du fleece team thread is here!

2011-07-02T00:04:00.008-04:00

and it's my birthday, too.

more fur

2011-06-29T16:57:00.006-04:00

sasha wanted more fur on her bear, and i have to say, she was right! i tend to stop when i am pleased with a piece, partly because i like delicate, half-there stitcheries, but also out of fear of ruining or overdoing. but sometimes continuing is the thing. he's more shaggy now and bear-like, more There, especially since i added some handspun wool which adds a lot of texture. and the stitching balances out the patchwork better now.

but how do you know when a piece is done, or when one more stitch is Too Much? i do love seeing the progression, like he has emerged from my dreams. at some point if i keep on stitching, maybe he would lumber right out of the fabric and into these woods.

our town

2011-06-22T17:44:00.008-04:00

train whistles
smokestacks
sunflowers
laundry line
coffee
cool showers
sleeping and waking up

"Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it? --every, every minute?" Emily for Thornton Wilder

embroiderbear for sasha

2011-06-20T16:23:00.006-04:00

i'm really happy with how this guy turned out. i hope the recipient loves him too. i wanted him to look a bit like a balancing circus bear or carnival bear... but still somewhat realistic and wild. he's on a vintage embroidered runner, and his body is an applique of part of an old quilt that someone else cut up (i can never classify an old quilt as a 'cutter'! i have a hard enough time even cutting the scraps.) so he's an applique' of patchwork. i guess i'm leading up to making a patchwork beast, where the patches and seams define the boundaries of the animal... i love that idea, but one step at a time.

it is thursday, isn't it?

2011-06-16T16:32:00.009-04:00

so even though i'd had a run of productive days and was feeling wonderful, today isn't so much. my heath is really starting to concern me. i hope to get some stitching in. here's some yarn hanging to dry, waiting to go to Rosemary.

a pile...

a bear in process. he's not how i'm wanting to work these days, but i still like him a lot.

my poor woad will not grow! it has been this size for weeks and weeks and there are only two seedlings left out of dozens.

what is wrong, little woad?

they hatched! mum is nearby.

and here's a blanket that i found at an estate sale, among other cloth. it was hand-woven. it has details that thrill me, including stains and holes. it was woven in two parts and stitched together and then light-blue edging on two sides. i'm appreciating weaving more now that i'm learning about boro.

i read this morning that spinning was a gateway drug to weaving, so it was sure to happen. but up until now, i haven't thought in terms of squares. spinning is about turnings, roundness. but weaving dictates straightnesses. sort of.

what shall i do about this stain? i'd like to patch it, but i'm not sure i'll love the look of one big patch. i'd have to find the perfect fabric. something heavy-ish maybe.

i thought this was mended, but now i think it's just frayed.

held up to the light, striations where some threads are thinner than others.

and Ruthie, my ole girl, hanging around too.

lace

2011-06-13T21:19:00.005-04:00

The Estonian lace summer shawl from Nancy Bush's book is coming along! It's not my handspun (wasn't adventurous enough for that yet, having never knit anything so complicated) but it's all laceweight tussah silk, so I might try to bundle-dye it once it's finished. Silk takes dye so beautifully that it's not likely to hurt anything. Although I will probably give it to mum, who prefers very soft neutral colours, when (if) she departs from her black.

a first step toward story cloth

2011-06-10T15:52:00.007-04:00

on my quilt-weaving journey.. i've been reading so much and admiring other people's work but still a bit stuck on doing it myself. working with a patchwork base is so new to me and challenging. i want to work more abstractly and i'm not used to that - i usually have a loose plan for my stitching and it's fairly representational.

i'm also not used to thinking in terms of story, in fact i think i've been almost anti-story for some time now. i mean, i love stories, i gobble them up, but i don't make them. i'm sure it's largely past trauma plus grad school indoctrination (all that postmodern anti-grand narrative stuff), but i've been very suspicious of imposing stories on my life experiences, like it might limit the possibilities for understanding, or be too one-sided. i'm especially skeptical of happy endings, as much as i am desperate for them. but that's also left me feeling very fragmented, with parts of my life that are completely not understood or integrated, or even remembered most of the time.

but now i'm seeing some amazing stories unfolding in cloth created in this community. so i think i need some story. the challenge is to tell some of my own that aren't contrived. and preferably ones that bring joy, and that don't end. i'm going to be taking jude's magic diaries class which lasts for six months, so i hope that's enough time to at least begin putting my life together. at least i can start gathering fabrics for it!

this little piece was inspired by cindy's wonder woman bracelet, i cut what started as a square block into my own power bracelet. i've actually thought of getting cuff tattoos for power, but this will work much better when i visit my parents. i wonder, what is it about cuffs that makes us feel like warriors?

i rubbed sunny's carved year into the fabric with chalk and then stitched it. i have what may be inordinate love for this wheel. she still needs more work, but i may have exhausted my repair abilities. still, she shines. i love having her with me in this bracelet. i have it buttoned tight so i feel her always next to me, encircling and ensorcelling me (i learned this word recently from my friend eva, isn't it grand?) spinning with the bracelet on is pure magic.

2011-06-07T17:24:00.002-04:00

rudolph, the club-footed but still one of the last surviving guineas, loves to attack my head. which seemed like a good photo opp. but still, he eludes the camera.

2011-06-05T18:52:00.000-04:00

2011-06-04T23:51:00.003-04:00

i've become obsessed with jude hill's work and classes and videos. i wonder sometimes at my phases and obsessions.. they come and go, and come again. it's all about cycles. but sometimes that is frustrating because i want to accomplish more of one thing, not move on to another. sometimes i can't get enough spinning in, but then i had that years-long hiatus from spinning. then i was all up into quilting, and then forgot it for a while to re-connect with knitting. what is that about?

each skill builds through each cycle though. and they do synergize, if that's a word.

i've started to feel that my fiber work has not been about healing or getting to know myself as much as it's been about escaping. i can aestheticize or focus on making something to sell, and not face myself really at all. i think that's been what's missing lately. i want to interact more with what i'm doing, while i'm doing it. i think that's one wonderful thing i feel about jude's work is there is an improvisational quality that i've lacked. also, managing layers and working more with patchwork... so many important, exciting things to learn.

i'm having trouble with my advisors at school. they don't like my new, CPW topic, not at all. it's too bad because i was so fascinated with it and had done so much. it may be that i keep on with it and try to convince them, or shift to accommodate them. or follow my innards and move along. deciding what is right for me at this stage feels complicated. might be the perfect set of questions to begin a new cloth. a meditation on the future. i do find that what i imagine often comes to be, so it's important to take some time with constructing that vision... not making it all romance or revenge hehee.

new moon update

2011-06-01T16:25:00.010-04:00

just a few yarns to be listed today at 5:03pm EST, when the strawberry moon is new.

gifties and thrifties

2011-05-28T16:27:00.014-04:00

so many new lovelies from traveling and thrifting, trading and gifting. here's a custom diz from my dear emily of bricolage studios...

a diz is used for pulling roving from combed fiber. you pull it through that little hole for a perfect worsted prep, something i've been working on since i got my combs. so i have been wanting a diz for a while, but never imagined i'd have my own personalized one! em sent this along with a treasure trove of goodies including a necklace, an orifice hook, and some adorable needlefelted pincusions. her jewelry is incredible in real life. i was so happy when i opened this package that i wanted to cry.

then, my sweet and sassy (and local!) friend becky actually offered to gift me a vintage sewing machine. i was like, WUT! come to mama! it's a mid-century kenmore in perfect shape and with all kinds of original extras....

including that wee chair!! that opens up and chock full of all these goodies!!! stitchy hoarders like me will understand the squeee factor here!

and funky, very useful dials! i've been through the manual and started stitching on this baby, and she's awesome. all she needs now is a name!

and then, this is one of mum's estate sale finds that she passed along to me, causing major drooling and swoonage - a wicker basket with needlepoint on each side...

thank you mum, and thank you elizabeth for including some of your yarn and millinery stash, too!!

i kind of hesitate to even combine all of these in one post since they are each so fabulous. but i've been behind on chores and making, and doing less internetting, even though i miss my friends here. my memorial day weekend to-do list includes:

*full-on cleaning of rabbitry (which begins in exactly 7 mins)
*selecting some pretties to send to laila for her gorgeous, redefined shop!
*spinning for my new moon update (june 1!) i need to credit jude hill with the idea of updating at the new and full moons. i've been learning quilt weaving from her, and she is fantastic.
*stash organizing
*carpet cleaning
*a couple of long-overdue phone marathons with old friends
alt *working on gift embroideries

in parting, i also have to show you a few cross-stitch finds, each so perfect and inspiring, for a happy holiday weekend, friends!

looking closely

2011-05-22T16:10:00.003-04:00

playing with the macro lens my sweet brother gifted me. it's a macro lens for a film camera, and with a little adaptor ring it fits onto my digital camera. i love the super shallow, manual focus... but it will take me time to get used to.. btw the little pincushion is less than an inch wide!

it's good to be home.

2011-05-20T14:06:00.004-04:00

the geese left me lots of presents.

Getting ready to leave for Gay for Eagles Redux tonite. Come if you can!

2011-05-13T18:07:00.003-04:00

some shawl progress... i was nervous about the nupps (the little buttons-like bobbles, a hallmark of Estonian lace knitting), but they are fun.

2011-05-13T17:35:00.003-04:00

this is sitting next to mum's kitchen sink.
my dad observed that it looks like he did when he was a child.

2011-05-13T17:35:00.000-04:00

2011-05-12T23:09:00.002-04:00

2011-05-12T23:09:00.001-04:00

2011-05-12T23:09:00.000-04:00

Betty and Peter Pan

2011-05-10T01:18:00.001-04:00

Start on Estonian lace

2011-05-09T18:54:00.000-04:00

Fortune telling with gypsy cards and mum

2011-05-09T18:53:00.000-04:00

they found me

2011-05-02T19:40:00.014-04:00

the smell of honeysuckle right now is tremendous. still, it didn't feel like beltane yesterday. the light is still spring-like. and it was so ... quiet. then again, i haven't felt like venturing beyond the yard, so the sounds of hgtv and birds are about all there is. i should feel like celebrating the amazing art love i've had lately! but instead i have been in hermit homebody mode.

part of staying home is that i'm actually writing. i randomly met someone on ravelry who is coaching me. her name is elithea, and she singlehandedly convinced me that i must write my dissertation, and she is showing me exactly how to do it. i've followed her plan for the last four days, and i've written more than i have in years. i feel so lucky that she is doing this for me, and that she knows what she's talking about! i was skeptical and thought i was beyond help, but so far her advise is working, and the words are flowing painlessly. (psst: i'm sort of even enjoying it!)

and, just as strangely, my topic seems to have found me. you know that i was planning to write on fiber and memory in three case studies. then i fell down the rabbit hole on ravelry and read everything i could find on antique wheels. i thought that i was wasting endless time reading the forum on Canadian Production Wheels, but it has turned out to be most useful... at first, i thought one of my case studies could be about CPWs, except that it didn't entirely fit with my loose vision for the dissertation. but i kept reading, and reading, and now, after coming up with a very loose and draft-y outline, i'm completely thrilled to say that my entire dissertation is going to be on these wheels, known as CPWs or Quebec Wheels. it may seem narrow, but there's a whole lot to say about them and why they are important! and they are experiencing a renaissance right now. so i'm also diving headfirst into Québécois culture and history (and i better figure out how to make those accents on my keyboard!)

even though i thought i was really set on the antique spinning wheel front, another ravelry friend named kat who was bedelia's foster mom messaged me over the weekend saying that she rescued a full-size CPW with a cast iron treadle, but couldn't keep her because she already has two of these big girls. i would have one already except that they are huge, difficult to ship, and most commonly located in canada - and the shipping is strangely cost-prohibitive between the US and canada. it happened that i got her ravelry message shortly after the hub asked me what i wanted for our five-year wedding anniversary. kat is amazing in that she loves to rescue wheels and give them a spa stay before passing them along - and she also has a police chief friend who happens to travel my way every so often. this new girl doesn't have a name yet, but i am making room for her here already.. hopefully she'll arrive in a few weeks and help me with my research!

so they say that "your wheel will find you." i'm so grateful that my CPW has found me, through a fiber fairy godmother, along with a topic and a academic coach! and a happy, happy five years with my boy, who i'm very lucky is also a homebody and doesn't mind wheels everywhere. bright blessings, indeed.

Sunny

2011-04-25T18:07:00.005-04:00

a couple of months ago, i fell in love with a wheel on Swedish craigslist. she was an incredible price by US standards, but the seller didn't speak English, so i appealed to my friend CJ, an embroidery artist in Stockholm, to rescue her for me. he went to all the trouble of calling and meeting with the seller, carting home the wheel (who I had started calling "Sunny" because she looked yellow in the initial photo), finding a flat-screen tv box, disassembling her every so carefully, packing her up and shipping her to me. i waited most impatiently for Sunny the spinnrock to arrive. i am so indebted to CJ! but i had to have her.

unfortunately she showed up in many more pieces than she should have been. the poor girl. of course her wood is brittle, she is from 1846! there are a bunch of pics in my flickr from the day she arrived, and then a bunch more today.

i've been learning and following recommendations from the wheelrights on the antique wheels forum on ravelry. here she is after murphy's and a couple doses of lemon oil, some provisional repairs and a lot of tinkering:

i'm as proud as a new mama that she is actually starting to spin!!

but, she still has ever so many issues. the biggest problem may be the warped drive wheel. i used hide glue and clamped as best i could her three major breaks - but each of them had been repaired in the past and all seemed to have missing bits so that there isn't a whole lot of wood-to-wood contact.

i know these look awful. i hope i didn't muggle* her too terribly. but what can you do if this is the best they will go together? there were a couple of nails poking out here and there that i tried to remove, but felt the wood start to crumble, so i let them be.

so it's not surprising that she won't turn true. she scrapes both sides of the uprights when she turns. so i shimmed a little, and it did help, although i'm still working on them. i also put some bits of leather under the axles to try to make her wobble less.

it's amazing though that if i spin counterclockwise, she mostly holds onto her drive band. definitely not clockwise though. i haven't used this sort of drive wheel that doesn't keep the band separated. (not to mention all the nails and breaks that want to snag the band..)

the chips in her bobbin whorl don't help her keep the band on either, unless we go along very carefully. her bobbin is so tiny - only 3.5" total! there are two grooves in the flyer whorl, which i haven't seen either - they are slightly different sizes, so i'm guessing that's for different ratios. the flyer whorl doesn't exactly want to stay put in its threads either.

another issue is the flyer scraping this peg in the MOA, which sent her tiny hook flying. i'm working on stabilizing her maidens so that they sit up higher so this doesn't happen.

i've considered sending her off to a skilled wheel repairer, but she is so delicate that i'm not sure she should be shipped again. new bobbins and even a new flyer might be in order though.

Sunny is a little overwhelming, but very much a labour of love for me. did anyone ever have the feeling that they knew a wheel in a past life (or wished they did)?

*muggle is both a noun and a verb that spinners use to describe non-spinners and their repair efforts.

aprons

2011-04-18T22:11:00.005-04:00

this week, i will be updating my vintage etsy shop with tons of adorable vintage aprons!

i just have to repost this from the lovely heather of true stitches:

I don’t think our kids
know what an apron is.
The principal use of Grandma’s apron was to protect the dress underneath because she only had a few and because it was easier to wash aprons than dresses and aprons required less material. But along with that, it served as a potholder for removing
hot pans from the oven.
It was wonderful for drying children’s tears, and on occasion was even used for cleaning out dirty ears.
From the chicken coop, the apron was used for carrying eggs, fussy chicks, and sometimes half-hatched eggs to be finished in the warming oven.
When company came, those aprons were ideal hiding places for shy kids.
And when the weather was cold, Grandma wrapped it around her arms.
Those big old aprons wiped many a perspiring brow, bent over the hot wood stove.
Chips and kindling wood were brought into the kitchen in that apron.
From the garden, it carried all sorts of vegetables.
After the peas had been shelled, it carried out the hulls.
In the fall, the apron was used to bring in apples that had fallen from the trees.
When unexpected company drove up the road, it was surprising how much furniture that old apron could dust in a matter of seconds.
When dinner was ready, Grandma walked out onto the porch, waved her apron, and the men folk knew it was time to come in from the fields to dinner.
It will be a long time before someone invents something that will replace that ‘old-time apron’ that served so many purposes.
Send this to those who would know (and love) the story about Grandma’s aprons.

REMEMBER:
Grandma used to set her hot baked apple pies on the window sill to cool. Her granddaughters set theirs on the window sill to thaw.

They would go crazy now trying to figure out how many germs were on that apron.

I don't think I ever caught anything from an apron - but love...

— from Heather’s Mom

2011-04-18T01:27:00.002-04:00

2011-04-17T12:41:00.001-04:00

2011-04-08T22:58:00.001-04:00

new friends

her name is clara

2011-04-02T02:47:00.013-04:00

i've been surprised with my descent into the rabbit-hole. that's what they call it on the antique spinning wheels forum on ravelry. once you get the bug for antique wheels, it's as if you have dropped down to wonderland, and your wheels multiply as fast as rabbits. every time i meet someone there who seems to have a lot of wheels, then i meet someone who makes their collection look very.very.small. one ravelry friend has 35 wheels. some people think getting a new wheel for every year you've been spinning is very reasonable.

i've been in kind of a minimalist mode since we moved to NC. minimal for me, anyway. i love stuff, but the old house just got completely unmanageable, so i wanted our new home a bit more streamlined and modern, but still cosy. all that seems to have gone out the window now as i indulge my passions for second/third/whatever-hand quilts, and now wheels. one good thing about all this rabbit-hole is that much of my time there has been spent reading, and so i'm learning a *lot* about wheels, and consequently about spinning.

so i'm shyly introducing my new muse, clara. she's an antique swiss production wheel. i adopted her from a spinner in oregon.

she has so many lovely details, and so much to teach me. she's one of those wheels where you sit sideways, treadle with your right foot and the wheel spins toward you! i like being able to watch the bobbin fill, and once she gets going, i get quite a breeze off the flyer! she also has "captive rings" on her spokes, which clatter when you're spinning slowly!

i've been spinning since around 1998, but i've never been technical about it at all. i usually just do whatever i like and what works for my projects. now i'm very interested in learning all the "rules" of spinning because i want to understand everything about it. with clara's help i've been spinning woolen, long-draw, which is wild, and also means having to learn more about wool prep. spinning is truly its own universe.

i love you, clara.

ostara

2011-03-20T21:19:00.000-04:00

be linen

2011-03-17T15:52:00.000-04:00

BE LINEN MOVIE from Benoit MILLOT on Vimeo.

so very beautiful...

tonight..

2011-03-12T22:27:00.002-05:00

..dyeing with red maple winged seeds, plying on a spindle, and endless wool-washing, all while down a ravelry rabbit-hole of antique wheel lust...