it is thursday, isn't it?

so even though i'd had a run of productive days and was feeling wonderful, today isn't so much. my heath is really starting to concern me. i hope to get some stitching in. here's some yarn hanging to dry, waiting to go to Rosemary.

a pile...

a bear in process. he's not how i'm wanting to work these days, but i still like him a lot.

my poor woad will not grow! it has been this size for weeks and weeks and there are only two seedlings left out of dozens.

what is wrong, little woad?

they hatched! mum is nearby.

and here's a blanket that i found at an estate sale, among other cloth. it was hand-woven. it has details that thrill me, including stains and holes. it was woven in two parts and stitched together and then light-blue edging on two sides. i'm appreciating weaving more now that i'm learning about boro.

i read this morning that spinning was a gateway drug to weaving, so it was sure to happen. but up until now, i haven't thought in terms of squares. spinning is about turnings, roundness. but weaving dictates straightnesses. sort of.

what shall i do about this stain? i'd like to patch it, but i'm not sure i'll love the look of one big patch. i'd have to find the perfect fabric. something heavy-ish maybe.

i thought this was mended, but now i think it's just frayed.

held up to the light, striations where some threads are thinner than others.

and Ruthie, my ole girl, hanging around too.

lace

The Estonian lace summer shawl from Nancy Bush's book is coming along! It's not my handspun (wasn't adventurous enough for that yet, having never knit anything so complicated) but it's all laceweight tussah silk, so I might try to bundle-dye it once it's finished. Silk takes dye so beautifully that it's not likely to hurt anything. Although I will probably give it to mum, who prefers very soft neutral colours, when (if) she departs from her black.

a first step toward story cloth

on my quilt-weaving journey.. i've been reading so much and admiring other people's work but still a bit stuck on doing it myself. working with a patchwork base is so new to me and challenging. i want to work more abstractly and i'm not used to that - i usually have a loose plan for my stitching and it's fairly representational.

i'm also not used to thinking in terms of story, in fact i think i've been almost anti-story for some time now. i mean, i love stories, i gobble them up, but i don't make them. i'm sure it's largely past trauma plus grad school indoctrination (all that postmodern anti-grand narrative stuff), but i've been very suspicious of imposing stories on my life experiences, like it might limit the possibilities for understanding, or be too one-sided. i'm especially skeptical of happy endings, as much as i am desperate for them. but that's also left me feeling very fragmented, with parts of my life that are completely not understood or integrated, or even remembered most of the time.

but now i'm seeing some amazing stories unfolding in cloth created in this community. so i think i need some story. the challenge is to tell some of my own that aren't contrived. and preferably ones that bring joy, and that don't end. i'm going to be taking jude's magic diaries class which lasts for six months, so i hope that's enough time to at least begin putting my life together. at least i can start gathering fabrics for it!

this little piece was inspired by cindy's wonder woman bracelet, i cut what started as a square block into my own power bracelet. i've actually thought of getting cuff tattoos for power, but this will work much better when i visit my parents. i wonder, what is it about cuffs that makes us feel like warriors?

i rubbed sunny's carved year into the fabric with chalk and then stitched it. i have what may be inordinate love for this wheel. she still needs more work, but i may have exhausted my repair abilities. still, she shines. i love having her with me in this bracelet. i have it buttoned tight so i feel her always next to me, encircling and ensorcelling me (i learned this word recently from my friend eva, isn't it grand?) spinning with the bracelet on is pure magic.

rudolph, the club-footed but still one of the last surviving guineas, loves to attack my head. which seemed like a good photo opp. but still, he eludes the camera.

i've become obsessed with jude hill's work and classes and videos. i wonder sometimes at my phases and obsessions.. they come and go, and come again. it's all about cycles. but sometimes that is frustrating because i want to accomplish more of one thing, not move on to another. sometimes i can't get enough spinning in, but then i had that years-long hiatus from spinning. then i was all up into quilting, and then forgot it for a while to re-connect with knitting. what is that about?

each skill builds through each cycle though. and they do synergize, if that's a word.

i've started to feel that my fiber work has not been about healing or getting to know myself as much as it's been about escaping. i can aestheticize or focus on making something to sell, and not face myself really at all. i think that's been what's missing lately. i want to interact more with what i'm doing, while i'm doing it. i think that's one wonderful thing i feel about jude's work is there is an improvisational quality that i've lacked. also, managing layers and working more with patchwork... so many important, exciting things to learn.

i'm having trouble with my advisors at school. they don't like my new, CPW topic, not at all. it's too bad because i was so fascinated with it and had done so much. it may be that i keep on with it and try to convince them, or shift to accommodate them. or follow my innards and move along. deciding what is right for me at this stage feels complicated. might be the perfect set of questions to begin a new cloth. a meditation on the future. i do find that what i imagine often comes to be, so it's important to take some time with constructing that vision... not making it all romance or revenge hehee.

new moon update

just a few yarns to be listed today at 5:03pm EST, when the strawberry moon is new.

gifties and thrifties

so many new lovelies from traveling and thrifting, trading and gifting. here's a custom diz from my dear emily of bricolage studios...

a diz is used for pulling roving from combed fiber. you pull it through that little hole for a perfect worsted prep, something i've been working on since i got my combs. so i have been wanting a diz for a while, but never imagined i'd have my own personalized one! em sent this along with a treasure trove of goodies including a necklace, an orifice hook, and some adorable needlefelted pincusions. her jewelry is incredible in real life. i was so happy when i opened this package that i wanted to cry.

then, my sweet and sassy (and local!) friend becky actually offered to gift me a vintage sewing machine. i was like, WUT! come to mama! it's a mid-century kenmore in perfect shape and with all kinds of original extras....

including that wee chair!! that opens up and chock full of all these goodies!!! stitchy hoarders like me will understand the squeee factor here!

and funky, very useful dials! i've been through the manual and started stitching on this baby, and she's awesome. all she needs now is a name!

and then, this is one of mum's estate sale finds that she passed along to me, causing major drooling and swoonage - a wicker basket with needlepoint on each side...

thank you mum, and thank you elizabeth for including some of your yarn and millinery stash, too!!

i kind of hesitate to even combine all of these in one post since they are each so fabulous. but i've been behind on chores and making, and doing less internetting, even though i miss my friends here. my memorial day weekend to-do list includes:

*full-on cleaning of rabbitry (which begins in exactly 7 mins)

*selecting some pretties to send to laila for her gorgeous, redefined shop!

*spinning for my new moon update (june 1!) i need to credit jude hill with the idea of updating at the new and full moons. i've been learning quilt weaving from her, and she is fantastic.

*stash organizing

*carpet cleaning

*a couple of long-overdue phone marathons with old friends

alt *working on gift embroideries

in parting, i also have to show you a few cross-stitch finds, each so perfect and inspiring, for a happy holiday weekend, friends!

looking closely

playing with the macro lens my sweet brother gifted me. it's a macro lens for a film camera, and with a little adaptor ring it fits onto my digital camera. i love the super shallow, manual focus... but it will take me time to get used to.. btw the little pincushion is less than an inch wide!

it's good to be home.

the geese left me lots of presents.

Getting ready to leave for Gay for Eagles Redux tonite. Come if you can!

some shawl progress... i was nervous about the nupps (the little buttons-like bobbles, a hallmark of Estonian lace knitting), but they are fun.

this is sitting next to mum's kitchen sink.
my dad observed that it looks like he did when he was a child.

Betty and Peter Pan

Start on Estonian lace

Fortune telling with gypsy cards and mum

they found me

the smell of honeysuckle right now is tremendous. still, it didn't feel like beltane yesterday. the light is still spring-like. and it was so ... quiet. then again, i haven't felt like venturing beyond the yard, so the sounds of hgtv and birds are about all there is. i should feel like celebrating the amazing art love i've had lately! but instead i have been in hermit homebody mode.

part of staying home is that i'm actually writing. i randomly met someone on ravelry who is coaching me. her name is elithea, and she singlehandedly convinced me that i must write my dissertation, and she is showing me exactly how to do it. i've followed her plan for the last four days, and i've written more than i have in years. i feel so lucky that she is doing this for me, and that she knows what she's talking about! i was skeptical and thought i was beyond help, but so far her advise is working, and the words are flowing painlessly. (psst: i'm sort of even enjoying it!)

and, just as strangely, my topic seems to have found me. you know that i was planning to write on fiber and memory in three case studies. then i fell down the rabbit hole on ravelry and read everything i could find on antique wheels. i thought that i was wasting endless time reading the forum on Canadian Production Wheels, but it has turned out to be most useful... at first, i thought one of my case studies could be about CPWs, except that it didn't entirely fit with my loose vision for the dissertation. but i kept reading, and reading, and now, after coming up with a very loose and draft-y outline, i'm completely thrilled to say that my entire dissertation is going to be on these wheels, known as CPWs or Quebec Wheels. it may seem narrow, but there's a whole lot to say about them and why they are important! and they are experiencing a renaissance right now. so i'm also diving headfirst into Québécois culture and history (and i better figure out how to make those accents on my keyboard!)

even though i thought i was really set on the antique spinning wheel front, another ravelry friend named kat who was bedelia's foster mom messaged me over the weekend saying that she rescued a full-size CPW with a cast iron treadle, but couldn't keep her because she already has two of these big girls. i would have one already except that they are huge, difficult to ship, and most commonly located in canada - and the shipping is strangely cost-prohibitive between the US and canada. it happened that i got her ravelry message shortly after the hub asked me what i wanted for our five-year wedding anniversary. kat is amazing in that she loves to rescue wheels and give them a spa stay before passing them along - and she also has a police chief friend who happens to travel my way every so often. this new girl doesn't have a name yet, but i am making room for her here already.. hopefully she'll arrive in a few weeks and help me with my research!

so they say that "your wheel will find you." i'm so grateful that my CPW has found me, through a fiber fairy godmother, along with a topic and a academic coach! and a happy, happy five years with my boy, who i'm very lucky is also a homebody and doesn't mind wheels everywhere. bright blessings, indeed.