I am still sitting here trying to recover from today's writing. Since I had nothing after an hour and a half, I started cutting and pasting interviews, emails, and fieldnotes into my outline. I do have a very rough outline, and this seemed like a fairly non-threatening task. I ended up with about fifty more pages of stuff this way, which seems good since this is material I'll need to rework and use. I'm so depressed though now that my usual phrase "sticking head in oven" comes to mind. I think part of this is low blood sugar - I need to remember to eat.
I am going to try something new, again. A possibility has opened up for experimenting with writing, Marta's Write Club that just started today. I'm thinking that since two hours has stretched into five, and that it's resulting in black moods that infect the entire day, night and week, I'm going to cut it back to 15-30 minutes daily. I'm going to try to reframe this as writing instead of dissertating. I can play with my structure or form during additional hours if I am able, but I will try to write my own stuff in short spurts and see if I can save this project or if it will get the best of me after all.