7.4.09


We had a fun day, did well with our new cooking goals and carded and spun lots of wool. Also knitting an easy little kerchief out of alpaca since I always wear hats and need some variety.

I've been bummed lately at always wearing farm-gear. While I was teaching and working I dressed casually, but still I love clothes and expressing myself that way. These days, while I'm supposed to be writing but actually spend my time brushing bunnies, doing yard work, spinning, and maybe on a good day running to the feed store or the LYS, I don't tend to wear my coveted Anthropologie pieces. I've had enough clothes "altered" with bleach and mud stains that I end up running around in tattered jeans or sweats - actually I'll call them yoga pants since that sounds more self-respecting. This causes me great shame as I am borne of a glamorous woman. My mother is never without makeup, jewelry, and sophisticated black clothes. She is a city girl who dreamed of living in a hotel, and her daughter's dream of the country life gives her nightmares. I accept that I am not her and all that, but still her image and expectations are part of me, impossible to shrug off entirely.

I've also found that getting dressed in something cute helps with this depression I've been fighting. Today, to mix it up, I wore an apron all day. Is there another alternative for farmwear that I'm not thinking of? Too, too bad that I'm not like Ms. Prissy with that gorgeous coat to wear all the time (one that comes with a full-time caregiver).

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