thinking a lot lately about continuing, and with things that aren't always so easy to keep going. like the hotel as studio space (although i did get that grant to help pay for it!), and then school. the last two proposals i turned in didn't make my advisors happy. and so i thought i would probably quit, or even apply to the fiber arts program at NC state, but i haven't been able to make that decision yet.
now i've got another, related project proposal brewing in my head. it has to do with things that have been right under my nose all this time.. studying the connection between fiber and animals. what kind of relationships are there between farmers and animals, and fiber workers and the animals that produced their fiber? if i stay on-track with documenting these relationships, it should be ok with my anthropologist advisor.
i love my etsy business. i absolutely adore working it in all its aspects. the people i've met are incredible, and in many ways it suits me so well that i think, just forget academia already, who needs it? it's been such a great year in this way, and my business has shown real potential!
the only thing is that it's hard being focused on production. i knew this and have heard it many times, but i had not experienced it myself before this season. i don't want to get caught up in working faster, producing more more more. although i love that there's been a demand, i'm not a fast crafter. sometimes the pace is fun and energizing, but ... if i have a choice, i'd rather be able to focus more on what i'm doing .. than on doing more.
looking forward at goals and plans... in order to make my etsy business a living, i would need to grow it quite a bit. perhaps that will happen anyway in ways that feel good. i have some ideas for how that could work. but i still wonder if i don't also want an academic component with some writing and teaching, especially since it's an opportunity i have now, to try and integrate these worlds, and once i quit, i won't have it again. can i make a real, honest commitment to it, finally? and, is it worth it?
i think that i'll spend the next few weeks brainstorming this and i can spend some time at the uni library while i'm visiting mum over the holidays.