thinking a lot lately about continuing, and with things that aren't always so easy to keep going. like the hotel as studio space (although i did get that grant to help pay for it!), and then school. the last two proposals i turned in didn't make my advisors happy. and so i thought i would probably quit, or even apply to the fiber arts program at NC state, but i haven't been able to make that decision yet.
now i've got another, related project proposal brewing in my head. it has to do with things that have been right under my nose all this time.. studying the connection between fiber and animals. what kind of relationships are there between farmers and animals, and fiber workers and the animals that produced their fiber? if i stay on-track with documenting these relationships, it should be ok with my anthropologist advisor.
i love my etsy business. i absolutely adore working it in all its aspects. the people i've met are incredible, and in many ways it suits me so well that i think, just forget academia already, who needs it? it's been such a great year in this way, and my business has shown real potential!
the only thing is that it's hard being focused on production. i knew this and have heard it many times, but i had not experienced it myself before this season. i don't want to get caught up in working faster, producing more more more. although i love that there's been a demand, i'm not a fast crafter. sometimes the pace is fun and energizing, but ... if i have a choice, i'd rather be able to focus more on what i'm doing .. than on doing more.
looking forward at goals and plans... in order to make my etsy business a living, i would need to grow it quite a bit. perhaps that will happen anyway in ways that feel good. i have some ideas for how that could work. but i still wonder if i don't also want an academic component with some writing and teaching, especially since it's an opportunity i have now, to try and integrate these worlds, and once i quit, i won't have it again. can i make a real, honest commitment to it, finally? and, is it worth it?
i think that i'll spend the next few weeks brainstorming this and i can spend some time at the uni library while i'm visiting mum over the holidays.
oh dearest dru ~
ReplyDeletei imagine how torn you must be, between knowledge and creativeness...
clearly, you ARE an intellect ~
(anyone can surmise this after reading your musings, here!)
BUT
clearly, you ARE also, a spinner of ethereal art fibers ~
(again, anyone can surmise this after holding a precious skein of your fibers in the palm of their hand!)
i can only speak of how your gifts have touched me...you. will. never. know. just how very much!!
my beautiful collection, of YOUR fibers, speak to me, EVERYDAY! they hang like a masterpiece in my studio, and i can still feel the positive energy from you spinning them.
you must move in the direction that your muse leads you, wherever and whatever that may be...but i tell ya' girlie, NO ONE (and i mean NO ONE) is spinning anything close to your beautiful fibers! i am grateful for the skeins that i have, and hope to continue collecting.
but again, YOU must take lead from your muse:)
enjoy your visit with your mum and wishing you a very merry christmas!
rosemary
p.s. the bunny card, is my fav card this season! thank you:)
rosemary!! you have no idea how much this means to me!!! thank you, so very much! i will *always* be creating and spinning, that is my lifeblood. this would be in addition, something that would complement a creative life and add some stability. it's hard to know though, because i don't want it to take away... there is only so much time in this precious life.
ReplyDeleteyour words are truly encouraging. to not feel like i have to add something over and above spinning in order to do something meaningful in the world... that is a gift. and your support over this past year has been incredible. thank you!
happy, merry christmas to you and yours!!! xxooo
Dru,
ReplyDeleteYou inspire me with your honesty and realness. You are enough you have enough and you do enough!
I love your art, you spin magic in with the fibers. Positive vibes rushing out into the world like ripples!
xxoo
Jennie
Drucilla, I totally agree with Rosemary...she is so right on...you are so gifted and talented and your fibers and handknits are beyond perfection!
ReplyDeleteI know i've struggled with similar issues in my life..sometimes working in business..then switching to a creative pursuit..it's hard to find the perfect solution that satisfies one's intellectual, creative and financial needs but it sounds as if you are finding a way by combining the best of all that inspires you...
Wishing you a wonderful Holiday with your mum.
xo L
you are spinning toward something & it's a privilege to witness, and a wonder to look at these beauties. thank you for sharing it all.
ReplyDeletei'm just blown away by the kindness, everyone. <3 <3 <3
ReplyDeletei have no answers. probably because i myself am so full up with questions.
ReplyDeletei think it probably will have a lot to do with personality and what you're getting from the two very different parts of your life and how important it is to have those parts filled up.
i wish you all the luck in the world with your decisions.
love
undecided in tennessee
serena, thanks for sharing in my indecision. the academic part hasn't even been an active part of my life for so very long. i've mostly ignored it the last few years while i've been on a leave of absence (even though i agonize over it here). i'm not sure i can return to it for the sake of what it might fill up someday. i think i'm over it!!
ReplyDeletehave a wonderful time in cave city, see you when you return <3