Showing posts with label affect. Show all posts
Showing posts with label affect. Show all posts

1.4.13

deerie

     


i found this little dear awhile back on a walk through our woods.  hir skull was poking up through the leaves just as bright and heady as a queen surveying hir realm.  i stopped in my tracks and without even thinking, gathered hir to myself.  i soon realized that there was much more of hir bone gold to be found under the layers of damp leaves and earth, and each limb bone and vertebrae that extruded felt like another gift, and there were many.  i hadn't brought a bag or basket for gathering, so i took off my aran sweater, a long-ago gift from mum and a staple for me on cold winter days, and laid hir out.  the green and brown staining made me wonder if bones could be dyed like easter eggs.  




i have since cleaned and bleached dearie's remains and they are pristine, blanched, beautiful.  i have thought about making hir into a mobile, in which i would crochet hir back together and add some of hir missing bits, as i imagine hir when s/he was alive.  i have been guilty of following the trend toward bone collecting, toward rewilding, earthing, primitive living - they are all connected somehow, are they not?  is there not a bone craze making itself felt throughout the craft world, in jewelry and on etsy? 




 i know i'm not the only one gathering and crafting with bones and animal-ephemera, not the only one with a red fox tooth ear cuff and tail, a crow cast skull necklace, a set of my own indigo-dyed cat bone adornments, a gifted antler wand, a cache of precious traded squirrel bones, a grandiose four-horned sheep skull and any number of thrifted taxidermied friends whom i've collected since childhood (and i'll only barely mention here my roomfull of wool).  we are, many of us, held rapt in their presence.  lupa has written about the magick of animal parts, and hoodoo has a long tradition of using animal claws and bones along with herbs to make their mojo.  although with hoodoo, i believe many root doctors don't shy from a human finger bone or other as curio.  



 i am wondering though if i was right to unearth dearie.  if this fetishization of animal remnants is yet another form of speciesism.  most of us wouldn't consider having human bones around.  and yet while we seem to separate nonhuman animals out this way for adornment or decor, it isn't on surface smacking of disrespect, but rather of honour.  we who fetishize hold them sacred.  we don't venerate human bones in the same way partly out of human exceptionalism, but also because they aren't that interesting.  (although i do have a close friend who was able to snatch up a small bone of her dear friend who met an early death.  she found it when they scattered her friend's cremains, and kept it, a beautiful story).

deerie seemed comfy there in the woods, no matter that her skull sung out to me, a beacon.  i am not the most observant of kin, something i'm trying to change, but still i need company when morel-hunting to spy the little phalluses.  i tend to miss the glorious details, but s/he shone so brightly to me that i could not resist or refuse hir.  the problem now is that there is no art i can make, no method of display, no reanimation or imagination that won't fall depressingly short of Hir in life or spirit.  s/he now lies wrapped in a tea-towel embroidered with the day of my birth, another gift from mum, awaiting my plans.  whatever i decide, i think it's important that before s/he ends up forgotten and dusty with my own remains that s/he be respectfully re-interred.  

9.3.13

waylaid


this was one of the loveliest, most thoughtful gifts ever
a vase from my friend Susan
who is an amazingly talented sculptor and potter
and yes, with violets on it
it's the first object of ours that I brought into the house.

work on the house is Happening
the new roof, and work on the plumbing
but i've been waylaid
we learned today that my darling father has the cancer, again.
so it might be some time before i'm back
making this house into Home
or making the rounds in blogland
but i do miss you all.  

28.1.13

She's Ours

So, we did it!
I had cold feet on the way to the bank, I'm not sure why!
Since the sellers did their thing on Friday,
our part of the closing took all of 15 minutes, or maybe 10.
We got lots of new keys.

We went to the house and the Buick was gone!
Which is a Good Thing, since we had no title or clue.
And then we opened door after door and looked
and looked ...
and looked around.
We were so awed that I couldn't bring myself to snap pics, you know?
but gawsh She needs a lot of work!

I put my special violet vase in the window.
Lit sage.
And then started ripping up lineoleum to see what they were hiding!
Yeah, some damage to the wood floors, but nothing so terrible.
And old, dark, kinda interesting tile in the kitchen.
I had planned on marmoleum
(look at all those awesome colours!) but then
I might just keep what's there.
I tend to do that.

(Pic from a previous, preliminary inspection!)

Back tomorrow to meet a heating & air dude,
and go to the waterworks and get that turned on.
And then Friday meeting a roofer!

And not-so-suddenly, I want to stitch again.

7.1.13

Seems like everyone is sick around here..



The Mazarin Stone episode features a most extraordinary room:


Holmes's Third Eye:


Such a poignant moment.
I'd like to do a 2012 year-in-review, but this pretty much does it.  

8.5.12

poor lil blue




so, some things do not belong in the dyepot.
critters, i mean.
i'm not sure how he (she?) got in since there was a lid on it, but i did have it open for a while the other evening while i was experimenting.
he must have been curious.
too bad he couldn't have crawled back out and continued on about life, a little bluer.
for me, lots of fresh dyepots today. bronze fennel and dahlia soaking and steaming.
rip, beautiful.

9.7.11

an elder cloth

the magic diaries just started, a long-term journey with jude hill in cloth-making. i had no clear inspiration until now for a large cloth. but now i think i'd love to make an elderberry cloth.





i am thinking about whether to make it a representational piece. that would be difficult to do on such a large scale. maybe a small image of her on a large cloth. i wanted to move toward a more abstract way of expressing, but i am still not sure why or what that even means. there's a sense that representational work is somehow lesser, but surely that's nothing i need to concern myself with. i might have wanted to move toward abstract to allow things to be put together in different ways. not to be tied to an overarching image, but more free and poetry. but i want to make sure i don't dis/member elderberry in the process.

i've been reading some of my friend harlan's work on affect, which is something like a feeling or emotion but more bodily. less voluntary too. he also writes about the responsible way to respond to someone, especially when they die. like how to be haunted by them, intimately and vulnerably. these are things i want to explore. somehow even though i'm making it about her, it will end up being about me. i'm thinking that's probably not good, but still unavoidable. what she means to me has a lot to do with her, but maybe more to do with my feelings of guilt, loss, nostalgia. so i'm thinking it would end up being more about elders in general. but doesn't the mule deserve a cloth?

jude says to hold the idea close, get to know it. i love this.

maybe all the other stuff that would go into the cloth is the context for the mule. grace was writing about context. i mean, just to stitch her colours and shapes and eyes and tail would be no more the whole of her than something more layered with histories. and we do co-constitute each other, after all, we're not separate.

i never finished that knitted saddle blanket for her. the intarsia wasn't going well, and i didn't love the yarn. and i told myself she wouldn't have cared about it anyway. so it's in the knitting basket, in pieces. i wonder if there's a way to use the knitted pieces somehow in this cloth. or some of the yarn. or the design of it. hmmm, there's an idea! the design was what i loved. it looks like the pattern isn't on ravelry. i'll have to take a pic from the book and post it. it would work well as an inspiration to be translated into a quilted cloth because it is the type of thing that could be worked in small pieces. and it would be so nice to finish her blanket after all.