a change of season..
does anyone know what sort of pod this is? i found it in the yard, but it was under a tree that was clearly not dropping these. someone on instagram said maybe magnolia? so i will run out and look at the magnolias, which are back in the woods. actually i'll do that now! yes, it is a magnolia! one of the dogs must have moved it to a different part of the yard. how beautiful these are, and i never noticed them before.
anyone who visits here has probably noticed my absence... i'm not sure what has happened, except possibly for burnout. i'm still in love with fiber and sheep, but i'm very, very tired of spinning for production and sale. i need to shift things. this happened to me some years ago, when my new husband's dog ate my first wheel, an ashford joy, and i took it as a sign that i should follow my muse and shifting interests, and i did - even started grad school during that time - and then came back to spinning about three years ago..
i also have realized since then that i'm what author Barbara Sher calls a scanner. someone who has lots of different interests rather than one main calling. i tend to have the same basic set of interests, mostly related to old country skills, but i tend to cycle through them over and over. right now i am feeling called to study herbs and have signed up for two classes which will stretch out over the next year. this is something i've wanted to learn about for years, but never took the time. i don't really have the time now either... because..
this scanning thing has also made it really difficult to finish my dissertation, because i got really messed up in my head by the topic, and so then totally lost interest in it for the last few years. i actually think i needed some distance to process and heal from that research, but now i'm facing a new set of circumstances. the most important being that i have an amazing new adviser. a dream adviser, my academic idol. this is a huge deal for me, one of the best things that has ever happened to me. i've had such a lack of support at my grad program, which has also made it difficult to finish up. the other thing is that now, my graduate program has been cut! suspended, no more grad students, and tenured faculty reassigned to other departments. everybody else is out. so i can finish, but it has to be by this spring! so i must, must, must and will get busy.
and then there's my sweet Papa, who has been in the hospital with a pneumonia, then a scary vascular surgery, then more heart problems from his existing heart disease. he's been so sick, and my family is so worn out. my usual depression and IBS are acting out in full force with the stress of this, but i'm hanging in. just so, so worried about him.
so i've wondered about maintaining this blog when for a long time it has been fiber-focused. whether i should start a new blog that's more about writing my dissertation, or about my progress with herbs, or whatever else i'm on about. do my friends here want to read about any of that? and then i also have some self-consciousness about it... am i "keeping going" in the sense that Jude talks about, or am i somehow unable, always trying to escape myself? i've blogged and loved it for a very long time, but i also worry about not being able to be a great blog friend and reader right now... time is just so tight. it's much easier to keep up with folks via facebook, but i know a lot of you aren't there (if you are, and we're not friends yet, please let me know how to find you there!) so i'm trying to figure out what sort of blog this could be and whether i'll keep with it ... i guess time will tell.