15.10.12

a change of season..


does anyone know what sort of pod this is?  i found it in the yard, but it was under a tree that was clearly not dropping these.  someone on instagram said maybe magnolia?  so i will run out and look at the magnolias, which are back in the woods.  actually i'll do that now!  yes, it is a magnolia!  one of the dogs must have moved it to a different part of the yard.  how beautiful these are, and i never noticed them before.

anyone who visits here has probably noticed my absence...  i'm not sure what has happened,  except possibly for burnout.  i'm still in love with fiber and sheep, but i'm very, very tired of spinning for production and sale.  i need to shift things.  this happened to me some years ago, when my new husband's dog ate my first wheel, an ashford joy, and i took it as a sign that i should follow my muse and shifting interests, and i did - even started grad school during that time - and then came back to spinning about three years ago..

i also have realized since then that i'm what author Barbara Sher calls a scanner.  someone who has lots of different interests rather than one main calling.  i tend to have the same basic set of interests, mostly related to old country skills, but i tend to cycle through them over and over.  right now i am feeling called to study herbs and have signed up for two classes which will stretch out over the next year.  this is something i've wanted to learn about for years, but never took the time.  i don't really have the time now either... because..

this scanning thing has also made it really difficult to finish my dissertation, because i got really messed up in my head by the topic, and so then totally lost interest in it for the last few years.  i actually think i needed some distance to process and heal from that research, but now i'm facing a new set of circumstances.  the most important being that i have an amazing new adviser.  a dream adviser, my academic idol.  this is a huge deal for me, one of the best things that has ever happened to me.  i've had such a lack of support at my grad program, which has also made it difficult to finish up.  the other thing is that now, my graduate program has been cut!  suspended, no more grad students, and tenured faculty reassigned to other departments.  everybody else is out.  so i can finish, but it has to be by this spring!  so i must, must, must and will get busy.

and then there's my sweet Papa, who has been in the hospital with a pneumonia, then a scary vascular surgery, then more heart problems from his existing heart disease.  he's been so sick, and my family is so worn out.  my usual depression and IBS are acting out in full force with the stress of this, but i'm hanging in.  just so, so worried about him.

so i've wondered about maintaining this blog when for a long time it has been fiber-focused.  whether i should start a new blog that's more about writing my dissertation, or about my progress with herbs, or whatever else i'm on about.  do my friends here want to read about any of that?  and then i also have some self-consciousness about it... am i "keeping going" in the sense that Jude talks about, or am i somehow unable, always trying to escape myself?  i've blogged and loved it for a very long time, but i also worry about not being able to be a great blog friend and reader right now...  time is just so tight.  it's much easier to keep up with folks via facebook, but i know a lot of you aren't there (if you are, and we're not friends yet, please let me know how to find you there!)  so i'm trying to figure out what sort of blog this could be and whether i'll keep with it ... i guess time will tell.


24 comments:

  1. have always been interested in your fiber doings but now that i've gotten to know you, am interested in what you are doing. it's a decision only you can make. sending good thoughts to you and your dad. i do follow you on facebook as well. am so appreciative of your teaching me how to spin on craftsy.

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    1. oh deanna, i'm so glad you commented. thank you for being here. and yes, we can always keep up on craftsy!! i hope you enjoy having spinning in your repertoire!

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  2. Oh Dru, big hugs to you in this time of so many changes. I for one will read whatever you post, because I have come to know you as a 'friend' here on the web. I try to keep the list of blogs to a low roar, just so I Can do that...read the blogs of friends. Check in when you like, post what you like...it's all good :)
    Also, Finish School!!! You have two great incentives in your corner (a new adviser and a time limit!!)
    Well wishes for your Papa, and your family.
    Take care.

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    1. big hugs back, Nancy!! thanks for reading, and for the encouragement to Finish!! i will keep you posted regardless.... <3 <3

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  3. Oh Dru! First of all, let us all bow to the MAGNOLIA!

    These are big times for you and I see you are carefully navigating the rocky road.

    And I am informally studying herbs too so, if you're inclined I'd love to see, hear what you are up to in herb land. and OMG~!!!!!! I just went to the Southeastern Women's Herbal Conference in Black Mountain. I think you would be right at home there. So many women with their hands in many different things and loving it. Next year I hope you'll join me:)

    I am glad to hear of your new adviser. Sounds like things are lining up for you to have completion.

    Blessings to your Papa. Love, Susan

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    1. oh Susan I didn't know you were into herbies!! i would love to go to black mountain with you next year - isn't it the best place?! one of the classes i'm taking is this one, and diane from our group is also doing it: http://www.etsy.com/listing/105771522/apothecary-circle-certificate-in-home

      but i desperately need to learn to identify local plants! i'm still trying to find a paw paw! maybe we could do some nature walks sometime? i'll come to you. i also hope to see you at Samhain! i was just out under the new moon and it is glorious, velvety darkness. xxoooo

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    2. Yes, let's walk. SOON! I know the paw paw but not so much when the leaves are gone. I'll check out the herb class...Love you!

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  4. Dru, I think your blog should be about you and wherever your inner processes take you and I for one would be very sorry to see it go. I think our interests are like fields that sometimes need to left fallow and perhaps your blog should just reflect that. I'm glad I read this because I have been going through such a similar crisis about my own blog for ages xx

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    1. sooo good to hear from you sammi!! i love your blog and feel the same way about it. i've also thought of having a woodland diary as a model for my own bloggy explorations!! and maybe a number of bloggers are going through this right now. anyhoo i'm so glad to have stayed connected with you, you always have such insight. <3

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  5. Drucilla,
    I enjoy reading your blog...for its eccentricness. This blog is you. If you're spinning...its spinning. If you're helping a wounded animal...its that. Be true to yourself...its what makes your little blog...a good read. Just signed up to learn how to spin on your craftsy site and looking forward to it. Pace yourself...during this time of need with your fathers illness...sending good thoughts your way and his.
    kelly

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    1. hi kelly!! i'm so happy that you commented!! thank you so much for your good thoughts - and if there's anything i can do to help on your spinning journey, do let me know! here or craftsy, either way!!
      xx

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  6. Well...I'm pretty sure I qualify as a "scanner" too... I usually think of myself as "generalist." There are so many things to explore, but maybe it's at the expensive of becoming really, really good at something. Part of it is that our society want's to push us towards specializing I think. Anyway, given all that I will enjoy whatever you write and share because I love your perspective and curiosity. Like Nancy I have set a limit on how many blogs I read, sometimes I set a time limit... I hope you find something that seems manageable for you. By the way...as part of my "field guide," I'm going to catalog what grows in my garden, who lives there, who passes through.

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    1. i'm just so happy you visited, deb! it makes me remember that i can't lose such wonderful bloggy connections, no matter what.

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  7. I for one look forward to joining you blog-side for all the twisty roads and sharp left turns in the path of life and art. Sending you loving thoughts and hopes for your father's recovery. xoxo
    ps, Barb who is also in our group is an advanced longtime herbalist who has apprenticed with local Will Endres and the infamous Susan Weed.. Barb is a good woman and resource. not sure if you knew.

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    1. laura, i didn't know about barb, thanks so much! and thanks so much for being here and for your lovely thoughts.. much love.

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  8. I have a lot of the same questions.

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    1. ha! my model of keeping-going has the same questions!?! that is so comforting jude!!

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  9. I am interested in anything you write about too Dru, no matter how much time passes between posts...and you know I will avidly follow your enjoyment of learning about herbs :~))

    I don't comment very much at all these days, as I have been finding it difficult to find words. I hope it will pass. I still visit and love reading my favourite blogs though ~ yours being one of them....

    All the best with finishing your dissertation...
    I hope your father gets well really soon.
    Take good care of you.
    Beautiful Magnolia pod.
    Sending love and hugs. x x

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    1. oh helen, it's so good to hear from you!! it is hard to find words, isn't it?! i've so enjoyed your blog and it's one of the influences that's made me want to learn herbs...

      many love and hugs back to you!!

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  10. i love all the Things that you love. How to
    choose.
    ?
    at some point, maybe One chooses you?
    love,

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    1. yes grace, what a good perspective!! or maybe one chooses you, and then another one and another one, at different times in life?? like the goats? they kind of chose you for this time, maybe?

      thank you for commenting!! love to you.

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  11. i think your beautiful photos and spirit would shine through whatever you decide to post about-(if you decide to keep going. love to you.

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    1. that's one of the nicer things anyone's ever said to me. love you cindy!

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  12. A great share, from the bottom of your heart. Whatever you will write about, I will read you.

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