mara xmas to mee

i love this pic of mum modeling the shawl i finished on christmas (it wasn't really taken in '81, that's a hipstamatic thing). it's a simple design, madeline tosh's mara, but i made mine huge and it's such a nice weight. i've not been a shawl person, but this is such an easy shawl to wear. it's been a good, soulful season, it really has.

i feel much more clear about things, in part because hub and i started juicing and having some greens and nutrition means that my health has improved. and i'm deciding, here as i write: my gift to myself is to leave school behind. i got a lot out of it back when i was doing course work, but i mustn't keep torturing myself with it. it doesn't fit my life any more. it's a kind gesture to let myself off the hook with this. it's time for life without hooks. and if it's a safety net i've been hanging onto, it's a very false and temporary one. i've gone back and forth with this so many times, but putting it here makes it real. no more whining about it or endless what-iffing. i want to put my energy into moving forward, being brave and having faith. thank you all for listening to me through all this and supporting.

i was making a list of all the things i want to do in 2012, the things that make me want to live, that fill me up. they involve a lot of making and growing of things. tinctures, and stitches, and friendships.


bye-bye, academe. nice knowing you.

gifties and thrifties

so many new lovelies from traveling and thrifting, trading and gifting. here's a custom diz from my dear emily of bricolage studios...

a diz is used for pulling roving from combed fiber. you pull it through that little hole for a perfect worsted prep, something i've been working on since i got my combs. so i have been wanting a diz for a while, but never imagined i'd have my own personalized one! em sent this along with a treasure trove of goodies including a necklace, an orifice hook, and some adorable needlefelted pincusions. her jewelry is incredible in real life. i was so happy when i opened this package that i wanted to cry.

then, my sweet and sassy (and local!) friend becky actually offered to gift me a vintage sewing machine. i was like, WUT! come to mama! it's a mid-century kenmore in perfect shape and with all kinds of original extras....

including that wee chair!! that opens up and chock full of all these goodies!!! stitchy hoarders like me will understand the squeee factor here!

and funky, very useful dials! i've been through the manual and started stitching on this baby, and she's awesome. all she needs now is a name!

and then, this is one of mum's estate sale finds that she passed along to me, causing major drooling and swoonage - a wicker basket with needlepoint on each side...

thank you mum, and thank you elizabeth for including some of your yarn and millinery stash, too!!

i kind of hesitate to even combine all of these in one post since they are each so fabulous. but i've been behind on chores and making, and doing less internetting, even though i miss my friends here. my memorial day weekend to-do list includes:

*full-on cleaning of rabbitry (which begins in exactly 7 mins)

*selecting some pretties to send to laila for her gorgeous, redefined shop!

*spinning for my new moon update (june 1!) i need to credit jude hill with the idea of updating at the new and full moons. i've been learning quilt weaving from her, and she is fantastic.

*stash organizing

*carpet cleaning

*a couple of long-overdue phone marathons with old friends

alt *working on gift embroideries

in parting, i also have to show you a few cross-stitch finds, each so perfect and inspiring, for a happy holiday weekend, friends!

aprons

this week, i will be updating my vintage etsy shop with tons of adorable vintage aprons!




i just have to repost this from the lovely heather of true stitches:

I don’t think our kids
know what an apron is.
The principal use of Grandma’s apron was to protect the dress underneath because she only had a few and because it was easier to wash aprons than dresses and aprons required less material. But along with that, it served as a potholder for removing
hot pans from the oven.
It was wonderful for drying children’s tears, and on occasion was even used for cleaning out dirty ears.
From the chicken coop, the apron was used for carrying eggs, fussy chicks, and sometimes half-hatched eggs to be finished in the warming oven.
When company came, those aprons were ideal hiding places for shy kids.
And when the weather was cold, Grandma wrapped it around her arms.
Those big old aprons wiped many a perspiring brow, bent over the hot wood stove.
Chips and kindling wood were brought into the kitchen in that apron.
From the garden, it carried all sorts of vegetables.
After the peas had been shelled, it carried out the hulls.
In the fall, the apron was used to bring in apples that had fallen from the trees.
When unexpected company drove up the road, it was surprising how much furniture that old apron could dust in a matter of seconds.
When dinner was ready, Grandma walked out onto the porch, waved her apron, and the men folk knew it was time to come in from the fields to dinner.
It will be a long time before someone invents something that will replace that ‘old-time apron’ that served so many purposes.
Send this to those who would know (and love) the story about Grandma’s aprons.

REMEMBER:
Grandma used to set her hot baked apple pies on the window sill to cool. Her granddaughters set theirs on the window sill to thaw.

They would go crazy now trying to figure out how many germs were on that apron.

I don't think I ever caught anything from an apron - but love...

— from Heather’s Mom

onward and.. onward

i met with my advisors last week about my new topic and figuring out some logistics. it turns out that they are going to *both* be chairs of my committee, at least for the time being, and we can see how that goes. i'm happy with it. the one who has been my advisor for the last few years is great, but very hands-off, which i've appreciated most of the time, but if i'm ever going to finish, i think some tough love is in order. i'm hoping that will be provided by the new co-advisor, the one who reminds me a bit of mum.

they gave me some incredibly useful feedback. i've been a bit stumped about a couple of things though... first, they were very adamant that i shouldn't look for examples of memory and mourning in craft work... that i should be asking *why people engage in hand work/craft/fiber work (have to refine that still, i think)* rather than presupposing my answer. that makes a lot of sense. it's always better to have questions and let the answers open up. so that's good, *except* that to me, memory and mourning was a way of narrowing such a massive topic. i suppose it could be something of a working hypothesis that helps me choose where to look, but doesn't direct any investigation once i begin. which kind of leads me to the next bit...

they suggested picking three communities for case studies - communities built around a certain technique and/or material. another friend said this too, and i like it. a huge advantage is that it will provide the structure of the whole diss. three chapters, and then some kind of meta argument/introduction. plus, specifics are always more interesting (and easier to write on) than huge generalities. i should choose each community based on how rich they seem, and they should all be different, drawing on different literatures and theories. each section will position the community historically and culturally, but focus on their contemporary work. so far i am pretty clear that there should be one on spinning, and one on quilting, but the third one hasn't crystallized yet... it's gonna sound strange, but i'm thinking about taxidermy as something that would add a whole 'nother dimension. there is something else in the back of my mind working out an organising principle, but i can't put my finger on it just yet..

also, and this is because we are a weird interdisciplinary program, each case study should lend itself to a different journal, field, and employment trajectory. not hugely and widely different fields really, but all the same ones that i am kind of swirling around in... american studies, gender studies, even material culture are just vast. so they suggested memory studies, visual anthropology, and maybe animal studies. that's all good advice, but kind of hard to plan here on the front end. it sounds so weird to read this, that i don't even really have a field... but academia *is* weird, it just is.

some great discoveries that came out of this meeting... they are fine with me not choosing specific geographic boundaries. just have three good case studies. i think it would be best and easiest to defend if they were all American, but they are leaving that open for me to figure out. also, no need for a new prospectus. they freed me up to quit talking about what i am going to do and get started doing it. it'll all get figured out in the writing itself.. i think this will help immensely.

so here i am, trying to get going, and committed to sharing a rough chapter draft with the memory studies reading group on march 25. i'm starting with spinning, and trying to figure out parameters for a spinning "community." there are a number of groups of spinners i've come in contact with online, and then there's also a local guild. at least it is a fairly small world compared to other types of fiber work. i've considered narrowing it to the people who are spinning pet hair - that's a very interesting phenomenon, but it might almost be too small of a world. it is actually helping me to try to share this here and organise my thoughts enough to articulate them... so i hope you're not bored to death out there.

the last problem for now, which is really only short-term, is that i can't start interviewing real people until i get through the IRB process, so until that's finished i have to focus on stuff that's already in print.. y'all can still give me suggestions in the meantime!

it's a lazy sunday around here, with hub watching football and scattered dogs snoozing. i am beginning to think i'm sick because i've been out of bed only to change the laundry and refill my coffee. i've got three different mysteries going right now and am really wondering if my inertia is health-related, weather-related or just pure laziness. hub says i have a fever so i should take it easy, but i think he might just be trying to be sweet. i can't be bothered to find a thermometer.

i have gone through the websites and flickr galleries of everyone who wrote and said they had an interest in the show. i'm so excited at all the interest and the awesome stitchery we'll be able to showcase. it makes me feel especially good to be able to show artists who haven't had a lot of gallery play (yet), but whose work is freaking fantastic. i've had some ideas for the overall theme for the show, but am talking to alex about it to make sure it's true to her vision as well. i'll be sending out a group email before long with all the details.. thanks so much to everyone who has expressed an interest so far.

so that i don't feel like a total lump, here are some goals for the week:

-put together info about show and email everyone
-finish proposal to the graduate committee about my new topic (since i'm officially back in school now!)
-finish two custom orders of bunny paws
-work on folk reveries team stuff
-photos and listings for etsy
-dye some linens with india's techniques
-order some prints of photos
-maybe experiment with idea for lockets

ok, back to my antiquey/cat mystery now. thanks mathyld for reminding me of this series!

gifts and goals

i was so thrilled and truly touched to receive these original drawings from allyson mellberg - she's an artist i've admired from afar, but i recently learned - when i proposed a trade last month - what an open, generous and sweet person she is..

this one is called "God only knows." she drew it especially for me! and anyone who knows me well will see the extreme personal significance (click to see larger).


this is Frannie, isn't she so tender?


and this is my long-awaited dottie. you probably caught a glimpse of him not long ago.. he has a way of popping up here and there..

i've completely enjoyed my time at mum's, and as they tend to do, many things have sorted themselves out. here in this new year, i'm committing to my vintage endeavors... picking, dealing, re-purposing, etc etc. i don't know why i've resisted it.. i will still stitch, of course, but i am not sure i'll ever make any money with it, or that i even want to. i love the slow cloth philosophy and aesthetic... with thrifting on the other hand, i'm all up in there..

also i'm suddenly fascinated with tumblr! i've started chronicling my vintage finds there - even during the hunt and before i've cleaned things up and prettified them. bloggy friends may have noticed i'm still a bit pre-verbal anyway, and the quick-and-dirty tumblr format is kinda what i've been doing here anyway.. i hope you'll visit me there, but i'll still be blogging here to keep track of my crafty, farmy projects and life goals and all that mucky goodness... speaking of which..

it looks like i will be doing a dissertation after all..although it's possible that i may get distracted again. still, i don't seem to be able to let it go. it's mine to do or not-do, and i want to reclaim that part of my life. plus, with this new topic, i have some new-found support from a professor i've always had a feeling about. so it's going to be on textile-work and grief-work, something many of us have discussed and seems to be a common refrain. i'm going to be taking oral histories - both of the process and experience of stitching and also the histories of the cloths themselves... i don't have all my ducks or red tape yet, but perhaps consider if you'd be willing to share your stories and stashes...

wishing us all sweetness and light in this new year,
dru

little cans of sunshine

even though they look a bit more more like true blood, that's what sarah calls canned tomatoes in the dead of winter. she gave us canning lessons the other evening and although it took about six hours to can forty pounds of tomatoes, it wasn't as difficult as i expected from reading canning books. it's the kind of thing much better taught in person, among friends and stories and coffee breaks.

these adventures in cutting, roasting, peeling, mushing, sterilizing and pressurizing was about the most productivity i've known in a good while. i did have to get my house in order before my oldest bff came to visit last week (so fun!!) and then, i also finished up the last lesson of ragtime before she came. so maybe i haven't been as lame as it seems. but the little boxes are not getting checked lately! and now, i'm off to visit mum on wednesday and that means it will be difficult to list things on etsy or prepare for our handmade market over the next week.

all i really want to do is curl up in bed and read knitting mysteries (finished death by cashmere last night, and started died in the wool this morning), and then move to the fire and knit a little of the new sweater i've started (i treated myself to a rowan book and yarn. it's thrilling so far).

maybe it's the nesting season. or hormones. maybe i'm just lazy. or maybe it's that i can't get my freaking meds paid for by insurance, and my fatigue is always out of control when i don't have my meds. it's definitely not that i don't have the spark, or don't enjoy what i'm doing, because i do!

maybe i'll start listing my goals here rather than my accomplishments, at least sometimes, to help me get on track.

1. get copies made and insurance papers mailed out (tomorrow)
2. take photos for new 'smoking section' of etsy shoppe (tomorrow)
3. meet with sarah to decide on vendors for handmade market and get emails sent (tomorrow)
4. groom three bunnies (tomorrow)
5. list around 10 new items on etsy (11/10 to 11/17)
6. figure out tags, banner, postcards and display for handmade market (while at mum's, 11/10 to 11/17)
7. crafty craft for handmade market (11/18 to 12/3)
8. figure out winter plan for hotel and turn on gas (before 12/4)
9. work on grant stuff for hubby (before christmas maybe?)
10. eventually must deal with looming question, to quit or not to quit (grad school). or try that other thing that one professor suggested (afraid to mention yet and no clue at this point but i stress on it daily)...

whew! i know there's more, but that's all i can think. anyone else having these issues, or any words of wisdom to share??

ragtime outtakes

today was kind of a bust owing to some icky news this morning that hub's place-of-business was vandalized... so useless angry feelings and phone time with insurance people...

i did accomplish *some* stuff this weekend (our weekends are sunday/monday), like doing my hair colour (not perfect, but it'll do with a hat..), the usual agonizing over my life's Work, a lot of catch-up on sleep and miss marple, mexican food, turkey time and ragtime.

hotelling

getting ready for friday's show!
finished mathyld's mitts
packaged four things to send off tomorrow
worked on carding gabbie's fleece
really helpful creative convo with sarah, which generated new goals (four new pieces based on a theme) she's quite the taskmaster!
tonight: knitting shetland lace shawl

finished taxes, *finally* (ugh)
researched new project
drew new embroidery
started new knitting
2 listings

even when i try to do my farm chores quickly, it doesn't work out.. there is always the perfect feather right in my path. feathers everywhere, actually. it is interesting to me though, how many "imperfect" feathers there are. feathers that are too dirty and wet, but also broken and half-gone feathers, discoloured feathers, and feathers that are missing, well, feathers. i like that they show some wear though. and they are all so individual. i wonder how on earth feather-harvesting works for down comforters and suchlike? i probably don't really want to know.

i've been feeling *so* much better the last two days, and that's after a long bout with the flu. i was feeling lame and down from being sick a while, although i did luxuriate a bit in my bed with my dogs and miss marple... but the last couple of days have been so much improved and with the weather, even glorious.

i was talking to mum about my little crafty business and my frustrations with lacks in productivity, and i said something about a modest goal... of making something every day (not necessarily completing anything, just actively working on making something) and also listing something every day. or as much as possible. (there may not always be something to list, but i have quite a backlog right now in mum's attic).. and it seemed simple and probably not all that helpful, but somehow it has kicked me into gear.

i am loving perpetua's new blog (as well as her beautiful work!!) and i'm with her on wanting to make Something of my life... even if there is no Thing and life is really just life. i am really very post-ambitious, but still i'm tired of talking about what i want to do. i'm tired of buying supplies and making things i love but that just pile up in my armoire. i like entrepreneuring in many ways, and i have no reason not to give this a good go. even if "this" will continue to morph..

today involved..

gathering feathers
meeting with a potential new studio-mate
finishing framing swap piece for mr. x stitch!
finishing and photographing custom order
photographing a lot of other stuff
buying printer cartridges
2 listings